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I Am a Jewish Psychotherapist, The Forty-First Week of the Second Year in the New Abnormal

I Am a Jewish Psychotherapist, The Forty-First Week of the Second Year in the New Abnormal
Oct 15, 2023 by Janet Zinn

Do I speak of the unspeakable?  This past week marks a tragic low in inhumane acts.  I cannot get my head around it.  As a Jewish psychotherapist I am in a similar position as I was when we faced the pandemic.  I am going through something that I am also hearing from my clients.  The sadness, along with so many other emotions, have been omnipresent this past week.  

What is Self-Care? The Fortieth Week of the Second Year in the New Abnormal

What is Self-Care? The Fortieth Week of the Second Year in the New Abnormal
Oct 07, 2023 by Janet Zinn

When I was growing up in suburban New Jersey I didn’t know anything about self-care.  The first experience I had that felt like self-care was when my mom treated me to a facial at Strawbridge and Clothier.  They were having a special promotion.  Although I couldn’t control my weigh, we could try to tackle my acne this one time.  

Saying Nothing, The Thirty-Ninth Week in the Second Year of the New Abnormal

Saying Nothing, The Thirty-Ninth Week in the Second Year of the New Abnormal
Oct 01, 2023 by Janet Zinn

“If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all.”  That was a common idiom of our mother’s lexicon.   She lived true to that statement.  Even when she attempted to comment on something she disapproved of, she did her best to soften it.  As a teen, I often was asked the question, “Janet, do you think that’s the most complementary outfit?“  Or it could have been make-up, pants, hair style or any other appearance-related observation.  As a sensitive teen I was crushed no matter how much she tried to say it diplomatically.   

Hygge, The Thirty-Eighth Week of the Second Year in the New Abnormal

Hygge, The Thirty-Eighth Week of the Second Year in the New Abnormal
Sep 24, 2023 by Janet Zinn
There is a distinct feeling of “hygge’” a Danish word for contentment that comes from comfort and an easy friendliness, that perfectly describes the vibe we encountered in Copenhagen.  Last week we had taken advantage of an Icelandair special to visit Copenhagen.  I have always wanted to go to Nordic countries, but they seemed so remote.  This deal with a stopover in Iceland was exactly what I needed to bridge the gap from a dream to a reality.  

Happy New Year, The Thirty-Seventh Week of the Second Year in the New Abnormal

Happy New Year, The Thirty-Seventh Week of the Second Year in the New Abnormal
Sep 16, 2023 by Janet Zinn
It’s Rosh Hashanah, the Jewish New Year.  The year is 5784.  Back in 5734, in my teens, I worried about my clothes.  Was I going to wear my new wool dress, or was the warm September day going to deem it irrelevant?  I knew it was going to be a long day of prayer followed by a huge family meal.  I went to Synagogue, but I did not feel at home in the dressy world of the fancy Schul.  I felt more at home in the down-to-earth synagogue of my friends.  But members paid dues, and there was no seat for me in their sanctuary.  

Hurt by Half, The Thirty-Sixth Week of the Second Year in the New Abnormal

Hurt by Half, The Thirty-Sixth Week of the Second Year in the New Abnormal
Sep 09, 2023 by Janet Zinn

I was ten years old.  The person who I had considered my best friend was in the Stafford School auditorium with her class, and I was with my class for a school-wide assembly.  Assemblies felt important.  Usually the principal spoke.  He was a tall, somber man who communicated in hushed tones lending an atmosphere of solemnity to childhood gatherings.  

Labor Day Weekend, The Thirty-Fifth Week of the Second Year in the New Abnormal

Labor Day Weekend, The Thirty-Fifth Week of the Second Year in the New Abnormal
Sep 02, 2023 by Janet Zinn
When I was growing up summer was always book-ended by the academic year’s completion in June and a new school year following Labor Day.  In between were hot days at camp, or at home in the backyard under the sprinkler, with regular trips to Hidden Lake or the Haddontown Swim Club for substantial wet reprieve from the beating sun.  

Relationship Issues, The Thirty-Fourth Week of the Second Year in the New Abnormal

Relationship Issues, The Thirty-Fourth Week of the Second Year in the New Abnormal
Aug 27, 2023 by Janet Zinn
I have a relationship problem.  My relationship with certain circumstances can be very dicey.  When things don’t go as I planned, or something upsets me, I have a hard time accepting it.  I get upset, and in getting upset, I judge myself for not being more accepting.  Then I mull over how I could have prevented it.  I’m self-critical, which in turn, expands my unhappiness.

Behind the Facade, The Thirty-Third Week of the Second Year in the New Abnormal

Behind the Facade, The Thirty-Third Week of the Second Year in the New Abnormal
Aug 20, 2023 by Janet Zinn

Growing up my mother and her mother were sticklers for good manners.  I made a point of saying please and thank you.  I was afraid they would view me as rude, and I didn’t want that moniker.  My grandmother would point out other children who might have been louder than us, or publicly whiny, and she’d use those children as cautionary tails of behavior we were to stringently avoid.  

Summer Relief, The Thirty-Second Week in the Second Year of the New Abnormal

Summer Relief, The Thirty-Second Week in the Second Year of the New Abnormal
Aug 12, 2023 by Janet Zinn

Although this cannot be said of much of the country or world, we in New York City have enjoyed a reprieve from the intense heat of July.  It has been delightful.  Today I relished a breezy morning riding my low-to-the-ground bicycle up and down Park Avenue for the annual Summer Streets event.  The Department of Transportation closes streets on Saturdays in all five boroughs throughout late July and August for pedestrians, joggers, and cyclists as a way of promoting greener transportation.    

Mundane Day, The Thirty-First Week of the Second Year in the New Abnormal

Mundane Day, The Thirty-First Week of the Second Year in the New Abnormal
Aug 05, 2023 by Janet Zinn

What am I doing this weekend?  Nothing special and everything essential.  In an Instagram world of glamourous posts, my weekend is the antithesis of awesome.  I started early to ensure I could easily access the washing machines needed for the weekly laundry.  Luckily for me, it was a ghost town before 7 am, and I peacefully and quietly secured my machines and loaded them from the full hampers.  

Optical Illusion, The Thirtieth Week of the Second Year in the new Abnormal

Optical Illusion, The Thirtieth Week of the Second Year in the new Abnormal
Jul 29, 2023 by Janet Zinn
I was out for an early walk to beat the heat.  Ahead of me I could see a large pile of dog excrement, and my mind went on a rampage.   I got angry at the unknown dog walker or owner who was selfish at best, and a menace to our neighborhood, as far as I was concerned.  I righteously congratulated myself on my dog etiquette and my thoughtfulness in always making sure I have enough bags and I clean up after Lucy.  I railed at the many dog owners in the city who don’t think of others, which then got me on a mental rant about those who let their dogs go leashless in the parks and on the sidewalks.  I had really worked myself up by the time I passed what I thought was poop but turned out to be an errant dark sock.  

Lost in Brooklyn, The Twenty-Ninth Week in the Second Year of the New Abnormal

Lost in Brooklyn, The Twenty-Ninth Week in the Second Year of the New Abnormal
Jul 22, 2023 by Janet Zinn

I set out to go to The Brooklyn Museum to see the Africa Fashion exhibit.  I had intended to see it twice before but got waylaid, so my determination to get there yesterday was fierce.  My plan was to slowly jog in Prospect Park getting out at the arch and walking the few blocks to the museum.  Once I made it to Prospect Park at an unfamiliar entrance, I opened up Maps on my iPhone and set off.  

Ai Instillation, The Twenty-Eighth Week in the Second Year of the New Abnormal

Ai Instillation, The Twenty-Eighth Week in the Second Year of the New Abnormal
Jul 16, 2023 by Janet Zinn

I was tired, it was hot, and I was happy to be at MOMA, the Museum of Modern Art, on West 53rd Street.  The galleries were crowded, but I took my time enjoying new exhibitions and old favorites. After the slow perusal of four floors, I was spent.  But I still had almost an hour before our dinner reservation down the block.  

Bickering, The Twenty-Seventh Week of the Second Year in the New Abnormal

Bickering, The Twenty-Seventh Week of the Second Year in the New Abnormal
Jul 08, 2023 by Janet Zinn

My son told me last weekend that he hoped he won’t have disagreements in his relationships like I have with my husband when he’s older.  It was interesting to hear, and as far as I understand he believes that with the amount of therapy, mindfulness practice, as well as the fact that I am a psychotherapist, I should be further along in my personal development, especially when it comes to my marriage.  There was a time I would have agreed.  I would have seen my defensiveness when my feelings are hurt, and that my feelings get hurt at all, as a fault in my character.  

Maine, The Twenty-Sixth Week of the Second Year in the New Abnormal

Maine, The Twenty-Sixth Week of the Second Year in the New Abnormal
Jul 02, 2023 by Janet Zinn

Summers are not as warm in Maine as they are in New York City.  The air is fresh with ocean mists and the sun has been shy peeking out from the fog on this visit. We came to Portland to visit friends, enjoy lobster in any number of ways, and walk the charming streets in this compact city.  

Rest & Activity, The Twenty-Fifth Week in the Second Year of the New Abnormal

Rest & Activity, The Twenty-Fifth Week in the Second Year of the New Abnormal
Jun 25, 2023 by Janet Zinn
It was a muggy day in the city.  I went to bed late and gave myself the luxury of resting in bed yesterday morning.  There was a lot to do, but my body craved relaxation, and rather than rush to place my feet on the floor, I lingered under the sheets, enjoying the ease of a restful morning.  

Fathers Day, The Twenty-Fourth Week of the Second Year in the New Abnormal

Fathers Day, The Twenty-Fourth Week of the Second Year in the New Abnormal
Jun 18, 2023 by Janet Zinn

Happy Father’s Day.  When I say that it conjures up so much for me and for so many others, I expect you included.  Many of us have had varied relationships with our fathers nothing like Father Knows Best, The Courtship of Eddie’s Father, Blackish, or even Home Improvement.  If only we could tune in for 30 minutes a week and enjoy the comical moments that focus on the highlights of the best parts of them, with a little silly thrown in.  

Split, The Twenty-Third Week of the Second Year in the New Abnormal

Split, The Twenty-Third Week of the Second Year in the New Abnormal
Jun 10, 2023 by Janet Zinn

It was a mere coincidence that we happen to be in Split, Croatia the same day the New York Times travel section featured 36 hours in Split.  It’s about the same amount of time we’ll be in Split, which is a beautiful port city on the coast of the Adriatic Sea.    

 

Goodbye Grumpiness, The Twenty-Second Week of the Second Year in the New Abnormal

Goodbye Grumpiness, The Twenty-Second Week of the Second Year in the New Abnormal
Jun 03, 2023 by Janet Zinn

I noticed that by the end of my work week I was short on compassion.  My go to was frustration, impatience, or barely disguised anger.  It was simple things. I was missing paperwork that had been promised me.  A pair of reading glasses broke.  And then there were a string of simple annoyances.