What is Self-Care? The Fortieth Week of the Second Year in the New Abnormal
![](/images/Life-SizedCourage/IMG_8410.jpg)
When I was growing up in suburban New Jersey I didn’t know anything about self-care. The first experience I had that felt like self-care was when my mom treated me to a facial at Strawbridge and Clothier. They were having a special promotion. Although I couldn’t control my weigh, we could try to tackle my acne this one time.
![](/images/Life-SizedCourage/IMG_8411.jpg)
Though the focus was to improve my skin, It felt luxurious to have an aesthetician apply steam to my face followed by a facial massage then rich creams applied with gentle fingers. This was so different from the daily Strident Pads and mismatched Clearasil routine I’d become accustomed to.
![](/images/Life-SizedCourage/IMG_8409.jpg)
The facial came with an unexpected make-over. I was beside myself with glee as I felt pampered in a way I had never experienced. When finished I looked much older than my fourteen years with the make-up, but I felt like a new person. A temporarily, sophisticated young woman who got facials. This felt like a real treat.
![](/images/Life-SizedCourage/IMG_8405.jpg)
But following that one Saturday, the idea of self-care remained a mere memory for decades. Then in my thirties as I attended mental health workshops and retreats, I was reintroduced to the idea of self-care.
![](/images/Life-SizedCourage/IMG_8406.jpg)
Self-care is not the same for everyone. It’s why I make suggestions rather than state that there are only certain ways to care for oneself. For many facials are a part of their self-maintenance. For me, facials will always be a self-care activity, a rare treat while on vacation. There is a distinction between self-care and self-maintenance. And it is different for each of us
![](/images/Life-SizedCourage/IMG_8412.jpg)
We all live unique lives and how we choose to spend our time can vary vastly. I now consider meditation self-maintenance rather than self-care. Viewing art once a week is self-maintenance for me. Often coupled by another maintenance activity, a destination walk. However, should I find myself in more than one museum, then the visits are self-care. Sleep is absolutely self-maintenance. A phone call to a friend with plenty of tears and laughter could be either self-maintenance or self-care depending on the friendship, the call’s purpose, and the timing.
![](/images/Life-SizedCourage/IMG_8408.jpg)
It's not always easy to distinguish the best ways to care for ourselves. I do believe that self-maintenance is still a form of care. Nonetheless, whether it’s self-maintenance or self-care, it’s an active statement that we matter.
![](/images/Life-SizedCourage/IMG_8413.jpg)
Self-Care Tips (Or Suggestions):
- Give a friend a call, or a text for a walk, coffee, a meet-up, or for a conversation. Make sure it’s someone with whom it’s natural and easy.
- Start a savings account for something you want. It can be as small as $1 a week, or collect change in a jar. It all adds up if there’s a regular deposit, and it gives you something to look forward to that you earned yourself.
- Find a way to volunteer. Find something you like so that it doesn’t feel like an obligation but a happy way to give to others. The season is upon us, so there are a lot of opportunities.