Relationship Issues, The Thirty-Fourth Week of the Second Year in the New Abnormal
I have a relationship problem. My relationship with certain circumstances can be very dicey. When things don’t go as I planned, or something upsets me, I have a hard time accepting it. I get upset, and in getting upset, I judge myself for not being more accepting. Then I mull over how I could have prevented it. I’m self-critical, which in turn, expands my unhappiness.
It happened this weekend after not getting enough sleep, being in unwanted crowded areas, and certain things not going smoothly. I found out tonight we’ve been in retrograde. Maybe that explains it. But while it was going on, my relationship to these events was anything but open. I got annoyed. I tried to think of how I could have avoided the unpleasantness. It was sticky there for awhile in my relationship to the reality I was in.
I forgot how temporary things are. I forgot to pause and reassess. I took a walk. When I came back, I wrote a blog post for this weekend. And then I lost it on my iPad. I panicked at first. I looked in every file. I tried other programs, just in case. But it was completely lost. Surprisingly, I was able to get on with my evening plans knowing I’d be writing this late at night.
And, here we are. It was a magical evening celebrating my 64th birthday, one year shy of a senior citizen designation. I don’t mind, it means future discounts. The bad relationship with reality is on hold. I’ll continue to work on that relationship. Maybe I’ll embrace the present rather than fight it a year from now. I’ll be curious to see how it it goes.
- When you’re being hard on yourself because things aren’t going well, see if you can observe the circumstances, and be a witness to your feelings rather than blame yourself. It takes some practice. We can practice in tandem, as my work on this is ongoing.
- Check out Rhiannon Giddens. She’s a amazing human with a fantastic voice that defies one category. She has a new album, You’re the One.
- Rub a smooth stone. Whether it’s a river stone or a tumbled stone in the color of your choice, rubbing a stone when upset, can bring a little relief.