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CIty Gallery, Week Nine in the Time of Coronavirus
![CIty Gallery, Week Nine in the Time of Coronavirus CIty Gallery, Week Nine in the Time of Coronavirus](images/Life-SizedCourage/cache/images/Life-SizedCourage/proportion/IMG_3144_w140_h140/IMG_3144_02270225.jpg)
We went for a lovely birthday celebration of a new friend. To get there we took the subway. It’s been quite a while since I last went on the underground train. The most recently expanded line, The Q Train, has an artist featured on each of the newest stops. We got a good look at a few by Chuck Close done with tiles as portrait mosaics.
The Winter of Our Discontent, Week Seven in the New Abnormal
![The Winter of Our Discontent, Week Seven in the New Abnormal The Winter of Our Discontent, Week Seven in the New Abnormal](images/Life-SizedCourage/cache/images/Life-SizedCourage/proportion/IMG_3094_w140_h140/IMG_3094_02130100.jpg)
So Long, 2021, Week 35 in the Time of Transition
![So Long, 2021, Week 35 in the Time of Transition So Long, 2021, Week 35 in the Time of Transition](images/Life-SizedCourage/cache/images/Life-SizedCourage/proportion/IMG_2859_w140_h140/IMG_2859_12260445.jpg)
2021 was so, so long. In this last week I have little interest in reviewing this past year. The fact that I, that we, got through it is good enough for me.
Generosity of Spirit, Week 34 in the Time of Transition
![Generosity of Spirit, Week 34 in the Time of Transition Generosity of Spirit, Week 34 in the Time of Transition](images/Life-SizedCourage/cache/images/Life-SizedCourage/proportion/IMG_2810_w140_h140/IMG_2810_12190118.jpg)
I always thought I was a generous person. Then I got married and I came to realize that I was only generous in certain circumstances. If something was my idea, great, I was happy to offer services, a gift, or lend an ear. However, if asked, I found I could be withholding. Somehow I felt being asked for something implied I was stingy. And I was. Sometimes I still am. Apparently a generous heart is not a one way endeavor.
Thanks Giving & Thanks Getting, Week 30 in the Time of Transition
![Thanks Giving & Thanks Getting, Week 30 in the Time of Transition Thanks Giving & Thanks Getting, Week 30 in the Time of Transition](images/Life-SizedCourage/cache/images/Life-SizedCourage/proportion/IMG_2620_w140_h140/IMG_2620_11211254.jpg)
We’re about to ascend upon Thanksgiving and the winter holidays. I’m grateful for a quiet dinner with Larry and a restful weekend. I’ve been looking forward to this coming weekend since rest is usually ad hoc, and I am often trying to locate windows of opportunity to relax.
A Rare Moment of Calm, Week 24 in the Time of Transition
![A Rare Moment of Calm, Week 24 in the Time of Transition A Rare Moment of Calm, Week 24 in the Time of Transition](images/Life-SizedCourage/cache/images/Life-SizedCourage/proportion/IMG_2258_w140_h140/IMG_2258_10100433.jpg)
I hit the ground running. There was so much to get done and I’m still behind. I did the best I could, which means I had to readjust from vacation mode to New York City-paced backlog catch-up. Within a few days the vacation glow is flickering.
A Pandemic Birthday, Week Eighteen in the Time of Transition
![A Pandemic Birthday, Week Eighteen in the Time of Transition A Pandemic Birthday, Week Eighteen in the Time of Transition](images/Life-SizedCourage/cache/images/Life-SizedCourage/proportion/IMG_1954_w140_h140/IMG_1954_08290824.jpg)
A few years ago I was at a networking event when I spotted an old acquaintance. I was happy to see her, filled with memories of the two of us with mutual friends enjoying parties, volunteering, and talks in the mid-80’s. When I approached her and reminded her who I was, in a cold tone she responded, “Yes, I know who you are.” I felt hurt and dismissed. I thought about those early years in New York City when I couch-surfed and lived hand to mouth. It was a hard time, and I was not always my best self. I had thought warmly of this person recalling her dedication to friends and of her strong work ethic. Her taciturn words indicated she thought less of me.
Sweet Sixteen, Week Sixteen in the Time of Transition
![Sweet Sixteen, Week Sixteen in the Time of Transition Sweet Sixteen, Week Sixteen in the Time of Transition](images/Life-SizedCourage/cache/images/Life-SizedCourage/proportion/IMG_1753_w140_h140/IMG_1753_08150108.jpg)
Sweet Sixteen. It doesn’t feel so sweet these days. I remember when I was turning sixteen, I yearned to have a fancy party as many of my friends were having that year. We couldn’t afford an expensive affair, so I begged and cajoled my parents into allowing me to have a house party. My mother did not enjoy entertaining, nor did she feel comfortable in having a good number of adolescents in her home. I didn’t realize at the time what a gift she was giving me just by saying yes.
Small Moments, Week Thirteen in the Time of Transition
![Small Moments, Week Thirteen in the Time of Transition Small Moments, Week Thirteen in the Time of Transition](images/Life-SizedCourage/cache/images/Life-SizedCourage/proportion/IMG_1572_w140_h140/IMG_1572_07251212.jpg)
Cautiously Optimistic, Week 43 in the Time of Coronavirus
Is this really a Happy New Year? Yes, we survived 2020. And, yet, recalling how happy we were to be in a new decade just a year ago, we are constantly reminded of the unexpected turn of events in March.
In this first weekend of the new year, we take stock of the meaning of “hindsight is 2020.” Relieved that 2020 is behind us, our memories are raw from all we witnessed, and all we faced personally. I now know the impact of ongoing stress on my body and mind. I am just beginning to understand what is required to sooth myself and support others going through the intensity of extreme tension. Sometimes it means reaching out and caring for someone, taking the attention off myself. Other...
So Long 2020, Week 42 in the Time of Coronavirus
Before the end of this week we will welcome in a new year. Never will there have been a greater collective sigh throughout the globe than at the rotating midnight hour of 1/1/2021. We all faced many challenges throughout the year. And we all learned essential truths about ourselves. I learned that doing less was a relief. I learned that patience is not an end point, but an ongoing process. I learned to use my crankier tendences as a reflection on what vulnerabilities I am attempting to protect. I learned that I still have a lot to learn in asking for help. Plus, I learned that 2020 gave us endless opportunities to learn. I also learned that even with the possibility of learning, sometimes learning to relax was the...
I Went All the Way
![I Went All the Way I Went All the Way](images/Life-SizedCourage/cache/images/Life-SizedCourage/blog/janetzinn_files_wordpress_com_2019_08/proportion/img_0761_w140_h140/img_0761_02090744.jpeg)
Sometimes something so simple can be hard. I had the idea of riding my bike on the last Summer Streets on Park Avenue down to the Brooklyn Bridge. I keep my bike in my office. It’s a short folding bike, allowing for both my feet to touch the ground when I stop. It’s in my office so I can get out when the impulse strikes. It rarely strikes. I call myself a wimpy rider since I want to easily touch the ground, and I am not skilled enough to weave in and out of traffic. I will only face the streets to get into Central Park or ride on the East River promenade to Randall’s Island where there are few...
No, Thank You
![No, Thank You No, Thank You](images/Life-SizedCourage/cache/images/Life-SizedCourage/blog/janetzinn_files_wordpress_com_2019_01/proportion/images_1_w140_h140/images_1_02090744.jpeg)
It’s...
A Trip to Africa
![A Trip to Africa A Trip to Africa](images/Life-SizedCourage/cache/images/Life-SizedCourage/blog/janetzinn_files_wordpress_com_2018_07/proportion/img_14285_w140_h140/img_14285_02090744.jpg)
What can I say about a dream come true? Shall I say that I spent most of my life believing my dreams wouldn’t be fulfilled? I lived much of my early years longing for the things that others had. The thing about my longings is that it kept me out of the loop. There’s an unspoken presumption that it was beyond my reach. Growing up I heard about the trips to Florida my classmates took. I longed to audition for a traveling high school production of Godspell, but had to work, and couldn’t afford to take time off, let alone pay for a ticket to California. I felt left out. Moving to New York in the early 80’s, there were apartments...
Running Again
![Running Again Running Again](images/Life-SizedCourage/cache/images/Life-SizedCourage/blog/janetzinn_files_wordpress_com_2018_04/proportion/img_1337_w140_h140/img_1337_02090744.jpg)
I ran my first race in over a year. It was slow process, both recovering from benign injuries, as well as running 15-minute miles this morning. In the past months I went through acupuncture, medical massage and physical therapy putting Humpty Dumpty back together again. So, tentatively, step by step I took on Central Park’s Drive.
What I noticed right away was the throngs who passed me as I inched my way forward. I am no stranger to being left behind. In elementary school I often was picked last in kickball, more for my lack of popularity than for any inability to kick and catch the ball. In junior high school I was not asked to parties. I awkwardly went to school...
What I'm Not
![What I'm Not What I'm Not](images/Life-SizedCourage/cache/images/Life-SizedCourage/blog/janetzinn_files_wordpress_com_2017_02/proportion/unknown_1_w140_h140/unknown_1_02090743.jpeg)
We just took a trip to a resort in Punta Cana, in the Dominican Republic. It was beautiful. The weather was warm and clear, and everyone was friendly. I wanted to enjoy this vacation. Last year was hard and I was looking forward to some R&R. But the food, though plentiful, went from bland to awful. The amenities promised were elusive or not as advertised. The other travelers seemed to be content, but I couldn’t help notice the missing details, the absence of my desired holiday away. I would go for a run on the beach, grateful for the easy breeze, and the laps of the ocean. Yet, I kept thinking of all the things I didn’t like about being...
Back to the Basics
![Back to the Basics Back to the Basics](images/Life-SizedCourage/cache/images/Life-SizedCourage/blog/janetzinn_files_wordpress_com_2016_07/proportion/unknown_1_w140_h140/unknown_1_02090743.jpeg)
I learned to iron from my mom, but not before I scorched a shirt or two. Cotton and Polyester were the fabrics of my childhood. And, although I liked my Danskin striped shirts and ribbed pleated pants, cotton was the classier choice for anything other than playing in our Haddontown neighborhood. When inside I had chores, one of which was the ironing.
I would set up the creaky ironing board in the kitchen close to the counter with the electrical outlet. And then I’d carefully plug in the Sunbeam, aqua iron until it was hot enough to smooth away the folds. I would iron my father’s shirts for work, my sister’s and my blouses, leaving the trickier ironing of dresses to my...
Taking a Break
![Taking a Break Taking a Break](images/Life-SizedCourage/cache/images/Life-SizedCourage/blog/janetzinn_files_wordpress_com_2015_12/proportion/unknown2_w140_h140/unknown2_02090743.jpeg)
I took an unintended break from my blog. Every weekend I thought of writing something but I felt distracted, uninspired. This weekend is no different except I’m going to post this. Breaks are important. We could all use a vacation from time to time. But discipline is important, too. Sometimes I’m not quite sure what’s most important at any given time. It’s like when I need to rest, and I also know it will feel good to workout. What do I choose?
In the past few weeks I defaulted to taking it easy. Or, more accurately I took it easy on writing while celebrating the holidays and catching up on daytime tasks. I just didn’t feel like writing. In life there...
The Last Word on The Marathon
In fact, more than anything...
Wonderful Central Park
![Wonderful Central Park Wonderful Central Park](images/Life-SizedCourage/cache/images/Life-SizedCourage/blog/janetzinn_files_wordpress_com_2015_08/proportion/unknown1_w140_h140/unknown1_02090742.jpeg)
It’s 6.2 miles around the Central Park loop. On a good running day I’ll run to the entrance to the Park Drive at 90th Street, jog around the park and run back, an 8-mile run. That doesn’t happen too often. I’m more apt to do a three-mile run to the park, around the reservoir or around the bridal path surrounding the reservoir, then back home again. I like that run. There are beautiful views of the city, some people watching, and the ground is soft.
But, for now, as I train for a half-marathon, which I may or may not run, I am working on longer runs, making the loop a better choice. As I cross Fifth Avenue to join the...