Blog
Helplessness
Joy of Having Plans vs. Wanting to Do Nothing, Week Ten in the New Abnormal
![Joy of Having Plans vs. Wanting to Do Nothing, Week Ten in the New Abnormal Joy of Having Plans vs. Wanting to Do Nothing, Week Ten in the New Abnormal](images/Life-SizedCourage/cache/images/Life-SizedCourage/proportion/IMG_3241_w140_h140/IMG_3241_03060553.jpg)
This past week has been jubilant in some ways. First, thanks to Larry and his friend Alan, we enjoyed our first indoor concert in over two years. Elton John, his band, and crew did an amazing job of giving music and lifetime memories to their audience. I was so happy to be there, even as I was overloaded to be among a mass of people.
Tech Unsaavy and More, Week Eight in the New Abnormal
![Tech Unsaavy and More, Week Eight in the New Abnormal Tech Unsaavy and More, Week Eight in the New Abnormal](images/Life-SizedCourage/cache/images/Life-SizedCourage/proportion/IMG_3126_w140_h140/IMG_3126_02200119.jpg)
I don’t really understand Instagram. I’ve heard it’s for boomers. As a Baby Boomer, I am virtually clueless on how to navigate this social media platform. I can send hearts to a photo, but opening attachments, or anything more than loving a post eludes me. I keep meaning to find a tutorial I can follow, but my time is spoken for, so learning how to use Instagram stays low on my to-do list. I post to Instagram weekly. I’m not sure if it goes through, or if people just see pictures but can’t open the attachments.
The Winter of Our Discontent, Week Seven in the New Abnormal
![The Winter of Our Discontent, Week Seven in the New Abnormal The Winter of Our Discontent, Week Seven in the New Abnormal](images/Life-SizedCourage/cache/images/Life-SizedCourage/proportion/IMG_3094_w140_h140/IMG_3094_02130100.jpg)
Omicron in the Time of Coronavirus, Week Five in the New Abnormal
![Omicron in the Time of Coronavirus, Week Five in the New Abnormal Omicron in the Time of Coronavirus, Week Five in the New Abnormal](images/Life-SizedCourage/cache/images/Life-SizedCourage/proportion/IMG_3013_w140_h140/IMG_3013_01300138.jpg)
Whenever I find myself feeling righteous for some reason life humbles me, reminding me that in so many ways we’re all in this together. I had staved off Coronavirus since February 2020. I felt proud of my record. When Omicron came on the scene I started wearing masks indoors and out. I felt mostly protected from the virus and the cold. All was well. That ended a couple of weeks ago when I contracted the virus and was put out for days.
Thank You For Your Kindness, Week Four in the The New Abnormal
![Thank You For Your Kindness, Week Four in the The New Abnormal Thank You For Your Kindness, Week Four in the The New Abnormal](images/Life-SizedCourage/cache/images/Life-SizedCourage/proportion/IMG_3008_w140_h140/IMG_3008_01231227.jpg)
Small kindnesses have huge impacts. This week I hadn’t felt well, and the comments, texts, calls, messages, and extra care have been particularly meaningful. Larry, my husband, asked me if he could help take care of me, if I would let him. The truth is I usually don’t let him help me. I can be stubbornly independent, even at my own expense. So, I “let” him. Every query to see if there was anything he could do was welcomed. He made trips to the pharmacy to find the right over-the-counter remedies. He cooked or ordered dinner. We chatted casually. Something we don’t often have a chance to do.
Thwarted Plans, Week Two In The New Abnormal
![Thwarted Plans, Week Two In The New Abnormal Thwarted Plans, Week Two In The New Abnormal](images/Life-SizedCourage/cache/images/Life-SizedCourage/proportion/IMG_2954_w140_h140/IMG_2954_01090259.jpg)
I keep deluding myself into thinking I know the best formula for getting through these difficult times. I meditate twice daily. I make sure I don’t make plans more than once a week, except in special circumstances. I go for daily walks. I work. I try to make dinner a few times a week. I like doing all these things. While I’m doing teach of them, I feel perfectly fine. But in other moments I am short-tempered. I am impatient. I long for more support.
Looking Back, Week 32 in the Time of Transition
![Looking Back, Week 32 in the Time of Transition Looking Back, Week 32 in the Time of Transition](images/Life-SizedCourage/cache/images/Life-SizedCourage/proportion/IMG_2734(1)_w140_h140/IMG_2734(1)_12050340.jpg)
I had some ideas about what I’d be addressing for this blog post, but when I looked at my calendar, I saw that it’s been four years since my mother died. We had a complicated relationship. Yet, in the last year of her life as her health declined, we found common ground with a deep and enduring love. A time I will always treasure. Most people don’t get that opportunity. Understanding that death is inevitable, her dying days were filled with peace and love.
Thanks Giving & Thanks Getting, Week 30 in the Time of Transition
![Thanks Giving & Thanks Getting, Week 30 in the Time of Transition Thanks Giving & Thanks Getting, Week 30 in the Time of Transition](images/Life-SizedCourage/cache/images/Life-SizedCourage/proportion/IMG_2620_w140_h140/IMG_2620_11211254.jpg)
We’re about to ascend upon Thanksgiving and the winter holidays. I’m grateful for a quiet dinner with Larry and a restful weekend. I’ve been looking forward to this coming weekend since rest is usually ad hoc, and I am often trying to locate windows of opportunity to relax.
Don't Get Caught with Tattered Underwear, Week 29 in the Time of Transition
![Don't Get Caught with Tattered Underwear, Week 29 in the Time of Transition Don't Get Caught with Tattered Underwear, Week 29 in the Time of Transition](images/Life-SizedCourage/cache/images/Life-SizedCourage/proportion/IMG_2519_w140_h140/IMG_2519_11140257.jpg)
20th Anniversary, Week 20 in the Time of Transition
![20th Anniversary, Week 20 in the Time of Transition 20th Anniversary, Week 20 in the Time of Transition](images/Life-SizedCourage/cache/images/Life-SizedCourage/proportion/IMG_2045_w140_h140/IMG_2045_09120135.jpg)
I’m teary this weekend. It’s hard to watch the news because my mind pivots to the many clients who spoke of their losses the days, months, and years post-9/11. As we commemorate the 20th anniversary of the terrorist attacks of September 11th, 2001, those of us who remember can clearly recall the exact circumstances when we witnessed or heard of the attacks. I am one of the fortunate who worked downtown, but I had taken the day off to attend a seminar. I never worked in the World Trade Center, but our social service center had a direct view. There were so many other stories like that of those who for unforetold circumstances were not in the towers when they fell.
Not This! Week Seventeen in the Time of Transition
![Not This! Week Seventeen in the Time of Transition Not This! Week Seventeen in the Time of Transition](images/Life-SizedCourage/cache/images/Life-SizedCourage/proportion/IMG_1890_w140_h140/IMG_1890_08220202.jpg)
Cloudy, Week Fifteen in the Time of Transition
![Cloudy, Week Fifteen in the Time of Transition Cloudy, Week Fifteen in the Time of Transition](images/Life-SizedCourage/cache/images/Life-SizedCourage/proportion/IMG_1407_w140_h140/IMG_1407_06270426.jpg)
I shifted my routine earlier this week to catch the sunrise. Typically I relish the space between sleep and daytime. The sweet spot of the morning. Following those moments I shift into meditation, then move on from there with coffee and the rest of the day. As soon as I awoke I brushed my teeth and ran to the East River to get a glimpse of the sunrise.
Emotions Ebb & Flow, Week Twenty-Eight of the New Abnormal
![Emotions Ebb & Flow, Week Twenty-Eight of the New Abnormal Emotions Ebb & Flow, Week Twenty-Eight of the New Abnormal](images/Life-SizedCourage/cache/images/Life-SizedCourage/proportion/IMG_4476_w140_h140/IMG_4476_07100504.jpg)
The cycling of moods continues. Today I’m happy. It’s beautiful outside. I get to walk on fairly empty sidewalks, and I’m ticking things off my to-do list. Earlier this week I was crestfallen. Too many tragedies and so much shared pain in the world. I find it fascinating how the ups and downs shift from day to day. Well, really, from moment to moment.
What We Don't Know, Week 45 in the Time of Coronavirus
I have to admit that I wasn’t sure that the judge I watched numerous times on Law and Order was Fran Lebowitz. It looked like her, but was she a doppelganger, or was she, in fact, the writer? After watching “Pretend it’s a City,” Martin Scorsese’s excellent (in my opinion) docu-series of Fran Lebowitz, I was happy to learn that, yes, it was her as Judge Janice Goldberg in the original Law & Order.
The short series on Netflix was a delightful, laughter-filled escape from current events this past week. I learned a lot, evaluated my own thinking, and admired FL’s ability to speak her personal truths, thoughts I often have, but don’t share aloud. Somehow the cable show also had me pondering on the...
Blog Break
![Blog Break Blog Break](images/Life-SizedCourage/cache/images/Life-SizedCourage/blog/janetzinn_files_wordpress_com_2016_05/proportion/unknown_2_w140_h140/unknown_2_02090743.jpeg)
I wasn’t planning on taking a break from my blog, but that’s what happened. I’m glad I took this break. I’ve needed a breather in general for a while, and the blog was just a part of what I needed to put aside. I enjoy writing, but I noticed something as the weeks went by without penning a word. I noticed that I felt relieved at times, and frustrated at other times. Same circumstances, different responses.
As the weeks went by I started criticizing myself. I was hard on myself for not writing even as other obligations loomed large. I’d think, “If I don’t write on a regular basis it’s predictive of not publishing later.” I questioned myself. “Could my attention...
Paris Burning
![Paris Burning Paris Burning](images/Life-SizedCourage/cache/images/Life-SizedCourage/blog/janetzinn_files_wordpress_com_2015_11/proportion/unknown_w140_h140/unknown_02090743.jpeg)
The one thing that did come from the Paris terrorist attacks is that we are not thinking of terrorism as something that takes place in far-off places. So many of us have a connection to and have been to Paris. We can no longer be limited to the belief that terrorism is only in Israel, or Iraq, or other Middle Eastern or foreign lands.
Throughout my life I heard and repeated, “Peace on...