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Helplessness
Halloween Weekend, Week Forty-Four in the New Abnormal
![Halloween Weekend, Week Forty-Four in the New Abnormal Halloween Weekend, Week Forty-Four in the New Abnormal](images/Life-SizedCourage/cache/images/Life-SizedCourage/proportion/IMG_5352_w140_h140/IMG_5352_10290834.jpg)
It’s Halloween Weekend and the city is ready for the many trick or treaters at every age. As a child of the sixties our Halloween was comprised of a trip to Kiddie City to pick out a cardboard box with a clear window displaying the plastic mask with a thin mouth opening with two nostril holes for labored breathing that allowed for a muffled song of “trick or treat” at the door of kind home-owners who distributed candy, both great and questionable. My favorite candy were plain Hershey chocolate bars, M&Ms, Twizzlers, or Good and Plenty. I was not a fan of the chalky Necco Wafers or boxes of raisins. We had plenty of fruit and raisins in our home, so I was on the lookout for forbidden treats that I would hide in the back of my closet.
Chasing Colors, Week Forty-Three in the New Abnormal
![Chasing Colors, Week Forty-Three in the New Abnormal Chasing Colors, Week Forty-Three in the New Abnormal](images/Life-SizedCourage/cache/images/Life-SizedCourage/proportion/IMG_5421_w140_h140/IMG_5421_10220252.jpg)
Manhattan is slower to display the vibrant array of Autumn colors associated with this season. I had planned to leave the city to enjoy the same lush views that friends had posted in their feeds. That never happened so I opted to wait for our city’s briefer period of transformation. It has yet to fully show itself. However, my walk to the North Woods in Central Park gave me a glimpse of what’s to come. The North Woods themselves are still greenish. But the walk to and from the north end of the park gifted me with moments of yellows, oranges and reds.
Busy or Not; Week Forty-Two in the New Abnormal
![Busy or Not; Week Forty-Two in the New Abnormal Busy or Not; Week Forty-Two in the New Abnormal](images/Life-SizedCourage/cache/images/Life-SizedCourage/proportion/IMG_5329_w140_h140/IMG_5329_10151127.jpg)
As Autumn has created an uptick in activity, I am both excited to get out more and apprehensive as well. The surprising outcome of the pandemic was that I enjoyed my quiet time. What was surprising about it was that I lived a busy life and enjoyed juggling a schedule that allowed me to partake in the best New York City offers. The theater and museums were a mainstay for me. When everything shut down, I questioned how I would get on. The answer was very well.
Make it Quick, Week Forty-One in the New Abnormal
![Make it Quick, Week Forty-One in the New Abnormal Make it Quick, Week Forty-One in the New Abnormal](images/Life-SizedCourage/cache/images/Life-SizedCourage/proportion/IMG_5270_w140_h140/IMG_5270_10090842.jpg)
Happy Jewish New Year, Week Thirty-Nine in the New Abnormal
![Happy Jewish New Year, Week Thirty-Nine in the New Abnormal Happy Jewish New Year, Week Thirty-Nine in the New Abnormal](images/Life-SizedCourage/cache/images/Life-SizedCourage/proportion/IMG_5192_w140_h140/IMG_5192_09251211.jpg)
The Hebrew Year 5783 is upon us. It’s a celebration of new beginnings. Sometimes called the great reset. We have a tradition of bringing bread crumbs, which symbolize our sins, down to the river to release them so we can start anew. For me the letting go of the recent past to move on is an unburdening. It’s a kindness we can give ourselves in letting go of what we deem to be opposed to our values. It’s a personal forgiveness so we can live better lives through right action.
Life is Beautiful, Living is Hard; Week Thirty-Eight in the New Abnormal
![Life is Beautiful, Living is Hard; Week Thirty-Eight in the New Abnormal Life is Beautiful, Living is Hard; Week Thirty-Eight in the New Abnormal](images/Life-SizedCourage/cache/images/Life-SizedCourage/proportion/IMG_5129_w140_h140/IMG_5129_09170838.jpg)
I woke up this morning to a stunning sunrise. I slept well and was in a better mood than I had been the last couple of days. Sunrises bring hope. They help me to begin the day with gratitude. The day is lovely. It’s warm enough to avoid outwear, but cool enough to enjoy the breezes on my walk. The outdoor cafes are filled with happy brunch diners. The city is moving along nicely.
Scaffolding, Week Thirty-Four in the New Abnormal
![Scaffolding, Week Thirty-Four in the New Abnormal Scaffolding, Week Thirty-Four in the New Abnormal](images/Life-SizedCourage/cache/images/Life-SizedCourage/proportion/IMG_4869_w140_h140/IMG_4869_08211148.jpg)
Pre-Covid, I took a wonderful writing workshop with Emily Raboteau at the Key West Writer’s Workshop. Not only was it a beautiful setting, but the guest speakers and the workshop itself were invaluable. One thing Professor Raboteau taught us was the necessity of proper scaffolding to support the writing. It took time, but I built my scaffolding. It’s been more precarious than proper, but I worked with the materials at hand and I’m finding my way.
A Good Morning, Week Thirty-Three in the New Abnormal
![A Good Morning, Week Thirty-Three in the New Abnormal A Good Morning, Week Thirty-Three in the New Abnormal](images/Life-SizedCourage/cache/images/Life-SizedCourage/proportion/IMG_4794_w140_h140/IMG_4794_08130647.jpg)
Bears of Central Park, Week Thirty-Two in the New Abnormal
![Bears of Central Park, Week Thirty-Two in the New Abnormal Bears of Central Park, Week Thirty-Two in the New Abnormal](images/Life-SizedCourage/cache/images/Life-SizedCourage/proportion/IMG_4756_w140_h140/IMG_4756_08060642.jpg)
I entered Central Park at 79th Street. The small, seated area was cordoned off so that Central Park Conservancy workers could clean the sculpture of the bear trio that adorns a circular inlet. I had never seen the careful scrubbing of the artwork and appreciated how diligently they were working to rid the bears of debris. The park is as beautiful as it is thanks to Conservancy employees and a myriad of volunteers who work assiduously to ensure that we can all enjoy all the Park offers.
It's Hot! Week Thirty in the New Abnormal
![It's Hot! Week Thirty in the New Abnormal It's Hot! Week Thirty in the New Abnormal](images/Life-SizedCourage/cache/images/Life-SizedCourage/proportion/IMG_4664_w140_h140/IMG_4664_07230517.jpg)
Peaches, Yum! Week Twenty Nine in the New Abnormal
![Peaches, Yum! Week Twenty Nine in the New Abnormal Peaches, Yum! Week Twenty Nine in the New Abnormal](images/Life-SizedCourage/cache/images/Life-SizedCourage/proportion/IMG_4575_w140_h140/IMG_4575_07160853.jpg)
It’s 1967, it’s hot. It’s a July weekend so I’m not at Hilltop Day Camp. The sprinkler is on, back and forth from one side of the lawn to the other. I have mixed feelings about sprinklers. I love the constant whir of water from the circular type, but I don’t get a break. It’s more of a free for all than a game. With the alternating side sprinkler, I can time it to race through when it comes my way, while taking a breath when it switches sides. In the end, that’s my preference. Get soaked, get hot, and start all over again.
Moods Ebb & Flow, Week Twenty-Eight in the New Abnormal
![Moods Ebb & Flow, Week Twenty-Eight in the New Abnormal Moods Ebb & Flow, Week Twenty-Eight in the New Abnormal](images/Life-SizedCourage/cache/images/Life-SizedCourage/proportion/IMG_4476_w140_h140/IMG_4476_07100504.jpg)
The cycling of moods continues. Today I’m happy. It’s beautiful outside. I get to walk on fairly empty sidewalks, and I’m ticking things off my to-do list. Earlier this week I was crestfallen. Too many tragedies and so much shared pain in the world. I find it fascinating how the ups and downs shift from day to day. Well, really, from moment to moment.
Compassion vs. Disregard, Week Twenty-Seven in the New Abnormal
![Compassion vs. Disregard, Week Twenty-Seven in the New Abnormal Compassion vs. Disregard, Week Twenty-Seven in the New Abnormal](images/Life-SizedCourage/cache/images/Life-SizedCourage/proportion/IMG_4471_w140_h140/IMG_4471_07020200.jpg)
Reactivity, Week Twenty-Six in the New Abnormal
![Reactivity, Week Twenty-Six in the New Abnormal Reactivity, Week Twenty-Six in the New Abnormal](images/Life-SizedCourage/cache/images/Life-SizedCourage/proportion/IMG_1946_w140_h140/IMG_1946_08290826.jpg)
Honestly, the news this week has not been good given my values. A lot of powerful women have been sharing opinions. Yes, I concur, but I have found that it’s been challenging to be my best self in the face of these upsetting decisions. I’ve not been able to separate my reactions from the deeply disturbing news. In this moment the political is personal.
Dashed Plans, Week Twenty-Five in the New Abnormal
![Dashed Plans, Week Twenty-Five in the New Abnormal Dashed Plans, Week Twenty-Five in the New Abnormal](images/Life-SizedCourage/cache/images/Life-SizedCourage/proportion/IMG_4383_w140_h140/IMG_4383_06190111.jpg)
Post-Vacation, Week Twenty-two in the New Abnormal
![Post-Vacation, Week Twenty-two in the New Abnormal Post-Vacation, Week Twenty-two in the New Abnormal](images/Life-SizedCourage/cache/images/Life-SizedCourage/proportion/IMG_4125_w140_h140/IMG_4125_05290124.jpg)
I don’t like the phrase at the end of a vacation, “Back to real life.” I think vacations are real life. It’s a break from the everyday, but enjoying that break is very real. Coming back to my work and apartment, and New York City after this vacation was a terrific reentry.
Goodbye Galapagos, Week Twenty One in the New Abnormal
![Goodbye Galapagos, Week Twenty One in the New Abnormal Goodbye Galapagos, Week Twenty One in the New Abnormal](images/Life-SizedCourage/cache/images/Life-SizedCourage/proportion/IMG_4014_w140_h140/IMG_4014_05220954.jpg)
I’m sitting at the Quito airport in the wee hours of the morning. This past week I had about one hour total of internet. It was divine. I thought I had overcome my reliance on electronics, but I have been habituated. And, as much as I enjoyed the downtime, I also am happy to be on my way home to enjoy the benefits, while cursing the downside of being “connected.”
A Trip to the Equator, Week 20 in the New Abnormal
![A Trip to the Equator, Week 20 in the New Abnormal A Trip to the Equator, Week 20 in the New Abnormal](images/Life-SizedCourage/cache/images/Life-SizedCourage/proportion/IMG_3992_w140_h140/IMG_3992_05140934.jpg)
No one could have prepared me for the beauty of Ecuador. Wherever I turn the vista is extraordinary. The pictures barely capture the awe that we’re experiencing. Going on vacation is the refresh I so needed.
Reparenting on Mother's Day, Week Nineteen in the New Abnormal
![Reparenting on Mother's Day, Week Nineteen in the New Abnormal Reparenting on Mother's Day, Week Nineteen in the New Abnormal](images/Life-SizedCourage/cache/images/Life-SizedCourage/proportion/IMG_3759_w140_h140/IMG_3759_05081122.jpg)
Though cards, commercials, and media would have us romanticize motherhood, the truth is Mother’s Day can be stressful for so many. Whether families grapple with mental illness, death, physical illness, the court systems, mismatched needs of child/mother, in-law drama, or whether there are reproductive issues, or other circumstances that make the day difficult, allow for kindness and caring while enduring the day.
On Repeat, Week Sixteen in the New Abnormal
![On Repeat, Week Sixteen in the New Abnormal On Repeat, Week Sixteen in the New Abnormal](images/Life-SizedCourage/cache/images/Life-SizedCourage/proportion/IMG_3560_w140_h140/IMG_3560_04171134.jpg)