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Intuition
Reparenting on Mother's Day, Week Nineteen in the New Abnormal
![Reparenting on Mother's Day, Week Nineteen in the New Abnormal Reparenting on Mother's Day, Week Nineteen in the New Abnormal](images/Life-SizedCourage/cache/images/Life-SizedCourage/proportion/IMG_3759_w140_h140/IMG_3759_05081122.jpg)
Though cards, commercials, and media would have us romanticize motherhood, the truth is Mother’s Day can be stressful for so many. Whether families grapple with mental illness, death, physical illness, the court systems, mismatched needs of child/mother, in-law drama, or whether there are reproductive issues, or other circumstances that make the day difficult, allow for kindness and caring while enduring the day.
Just a Little Bit, Week Eighteen in the New Abnormal
![Just a Little Bit, Week Eighteen in the New Abnormal Just a Little Bit, Week Eighteen in the New Abnormal](images/Life-SizedCourage/cache/images/Life-SizedCourage/proportion/IMG_3602_w140_h140/IMG_3602_05010307.jpg)
I would much rather have a small sample of something I really like than to substitute it for an alternative. If ordering a dessert when I go out, though I rarely go out presently, I prefer to order a dessert I want than to order the fruit salad or an equivalent. I can enjoy one or two spoonfuls, savoring the texture and flavors. Just a little bit goes a long way. It’s not just desserts I prefer in small doses.
City Blooms, Week Seventeen in the New Abnormal
![City Blooms, Week Seventeen in the New Abnormal City Blooms, Week Seventeen in the New Abnormal](images/Life-SizedCourage/cache/images/Life-SizedCourage/proportion/IMG_3604_w140_h140/IMG_3604_04240128.jpg)
A three-minute walk from our apartment stands a small lone cherry blossom tree. It’s located behind a dull brick building. On this seemingly empty city block the tree feels like a sign of hope. Hope that beauty can hold up in the face of asphalt and concrete.
Rest for the Weary, Week Fifteen in the New Abnormal
![Rest for the Weary, Week Fifteen in the New Abnormal Rest for the Weary, Week Fifteen in the New Abnormal](images/Life-SizedCourage/cache/images/Life-SizedCourage/proportion/IMG_3442_w140_h140/IMG_3442_04100131.jpg)
In my mind this weekend was filled with activity. I was going on long walks, I was starting to prepare for Passover, reading as research, writing, walking Lucy, finding items to give away, cooking for the week, and everything else that involves time and effort when not at work. I forget what is required to get so much done, especially when a nap is in order.
Awards, Week Thirteen in the New Transition
![Awards, Week Thirteen in the New Transition Awards, Week Thirteen in the New Transition](images/Life-SizedCourage/cache/images/Life-SizedCourage/proportion/IMG_3401_w140_h140/IMG_3401_03261026.jpg)
Though award shows don’t hold the same cache as they did in my childhood, this weekend is the Academy Awards. Fraught with politics and self-promotion, the awards have lost some of their shimmer. Yet, while growing up I wrote and rewrote my acceptance speeches. It was my fantasy of ultimate success. If I felt insignificant or hurt, my bright future would prove to the world I was somebody. My bullies would see I was special. That was my secret revenge.
Welcome Spring, Week Twelve in the New Abnormal
![Welcome Spring, Week Twelve in the New Abnormal Welcome Spring, Week Twelve in the New Abnormal](images/Life-SizedCourage/cache/images/Life-SizedCourage/proportion/IMG_3377_w140_h140/IMG_3377_03201205.jpg)
Hello Spring, you couldn’t come soon enough. We’ve all needed to lighten our loads. And what better way to start than by taking off our parkas? Like the shining moon hidden under the clouds, you’ve come from behind the cold for renewed hope.
CIty Gallery, Week Nine in the Time of Coronavirus
![CIty Gallery, Week Nine in the Time of Coronavirus CIty Gallery, Week Nine in the Time of Coronavirus](images/Life-SizedCourage/cache/images/Life-SizedCourage/proportion/IMG_3144_w140_h140/IMG_3144_02270225.jpg)
We went for a lovely birthday celebration of a new friend. To get there we took the subway. It’s been quite a while since I last went on the underground train. The most recently expanded line, The Q Train, has an artist featured on each of the newest stops. We got a good look at a few by Chuck Close done with tiles as portrait mosaics.
Tech Unsaavy and More, Week Eight in the New Abnormal
![Tech Unsaavy and More, Week Eight in the New Abnormal Tech Unsaavy and More, Week Eight in the New Abnormal](images/Life-SizedCourage/cache/images/Life-SizedCourage/proportion/IMG_3126_w140_h140/IMG_3126_02200119.jpg)
I don’t really understand Instagram. I’ve heard it’s for boomers. As a Baby Boomer, I am virtually clueless on how to navigate this social media platform. I can send hearts to a photo, but opening attachments, or anything more than loving a post eludes me. I keep meaning to find a tutorial I can follow, but my time is spoken for, so learning how to use Instagram stays low on my to-do list. I post to Instagram weekly. I’m not sure if it goes through, or if people just see pictures but can’t open the attachments.
The Winter of Our Discontent, Week Seven in the New Abnormal
![The Winter of Our Discontent, Week Seven in the New Abnormal The Winter of Our Discontent, Week Seven in the New Abnormal](images/Life-SizedCourage/cache/images/Life-SizedCourage/proportion/IMG_3094_w140_h140/IMG_3094_02130100.jpg)
The Wrong Way I Meditate, Week Six in the New Abnormal
![The Wrong Way I Meditate, Week Six in the New Abnormal The Wrong Way I Meditate, Week Six in the New Abnormal](images/Life-SizedCourage/cache/images/Life-SizedCourage/proportion/IMG_3041_w140_h140/IMG_3041_02060238.jpg)
I felt so fortunate that I had a meditation practice prior to the pandemic. I chose to double up my meditations to give myself devoted time each morning before I started my day. And, when needed again at night, or anytime I had to find my way back to myself.
Thank You For Your Kindness, Week Four in the The New Abnormal
![Thank You For Your Kindness, Week Four in the The New Abnormal Thank You For Your Kindness, Week Four in the The New Abnormal](images/Life-SizedCourage/cache/images/Life-SizedCourage/proportion/IMG_3008_w140_h140/IMG_3008_01231227.jpg)
Small kindnesses have huge impacts. This week I hadn’t felt well, and the comments, texts, calls, messages, and extra care have been particularly meaningful. Larry, my husband, asked me if he could help take care of me, if I would let him. The truth is I usually don’t let him help me. I can be stubbornly independent, even at my own expense. So, I “let” him. Every query to see if there was anything he could do was welcomed. He made trips to the pharmacy to find the right over-the-counter remedies. He cooked or ordered dinner. We chatted casually. Something we don’t often have a chance to do.
So Long, 2021, Week 35 in the Time of Transition
![So Long, 2021, Week 35 in the Time of Transition So Long, 2021, Week 35 in the Time of Transition](images/Life-SizedCourage/cache/images/Life-SizedCourage/proportion/IMG_2859_w140_h140/IMG_2859_12260445.jpg)
2021 was so, so long. In this last week I have little interest in reviewing this past year. The fact that I, that we, got through it is good enough for me.
Generosity of Spirit, Week 34 in the Time of Transition
![Generosity of Spirit, Week 34 in the Time of Transition Generosity of Spirit, Week 34 in the Time of Transition](images/Life-SizedCourage/cache/images/Life-SizedCourage/proportion/IMG_2810_w140_h140/IMG_2810_12190118.jpg)
I always thought I was a generous person. Then I got married and I came to realize that I was only generous in certain circumstances. If something was my idea, great, I was happy to offer services, a gift, or lend an ear. However, if asked, I found I could be withholding. Somehow I felt being asked for something implied I was stingy. And I was. Sometimes I still am. Apparently a generous heart is not a one way endeavor.
We Are Not Okay, Week 33 in the Time of Transition
![We Are Not Okay, Week 33 in the Time of Transition We Are Not Okay, Week 33 in the Time of Transition](images/Life-SizedCourage/cache/images/Life-SizedCourage/proportion/IMG_2757_w140_h140/IMG_2757_12120435.jpg)
I’m finding this holiday season to be quite odd. On the one hand, many of us are able to travel, visit with friends and family, and celebrate the holidays in person rather than on Zoom. On the other hand, our nervous systems have been taxed beyond what we thought possible as we forge ahead.
Looking Back, Week 32 in the Time of Transition
![Looking Back, Week 32 in the Time of Transition Looking Back, Week 32 in the Time of Transition](images/Life-SizedCourage/cache/images/Life-SizedCourage/proportion/IMG_2734(1)_w140_h140/IMG_2734(1)_12050340.jpg)
I had some ideas about what I’d be addressing for this blog post, but when I looked at my calendar, I saw that it’s been four years since my mother died. We had a complicated relationship. Yet, in the last year of her life as her health declined, we found common ground with a deep and enduring love. A time I will always treasure. Most people don’t get that opportunity. Understanding that death is inevitable, her dying days were filled with peace and love.
Thank you Mr. Sondheim, Week 31 in the Time of Transition
![Thank you Mr. Sondheim, Week 31 in the Time of Transition Thank you Mr. Sondheim, Week 31 in the Time of Transition](images/Life-SizedCourage/cache/images/Life-SizedCourage/proportion/IMG_2657_w140_h140/IMG_2657_11281212.jpg)
I was working at Strawbridge and Clothier in the Men’s shoe department. This was a branch in the Echelon Mall in Voorhees, NJ, a short commute to Philadelphia. I was a student at Rutger’s University in Camden, still a theater major, though I would finish with a degree in English. Paul Puccio, an English major at another college, who worked in Men’s Furnishings, introduced me to the music of Stephen Sondheim. I was 18 years old. He was enamored with Follies and Alexis Smith. He invited me over to his home where I listened to his original Broadway cast album with Paul narrating to a neophyte. I was changed for life.
Thanks Giving & Thanks Getting, Week 30 in the Time of Transition
![Thanks Giving & Thanks Getting, Week 30 in the Time of Transition Thanks Giving & Thanks Getting, Week 30 in the Time of Transition](images/Life-SizedCourage/cache/images/Life-SizedCourage/proportion/IMG_2620_w140_h140/IMG_2620_11211254.jpg)
We’re about to ascend upon Thanksgiving and the winter holidays. I’m grateful for a quiet dinner with Larry and a restful weekend. I’ve been looking forward to this coming weekend since rest is usually ad hoc, and I am often trying to locate windows of opportunity to relax.
Happy Halloween, Week 27 in the Time of Transition
![Happy Halloween, Week 27 in the Time of Transition Happy Halloween, Week 27 in the Time of Transition](images/Life-SizedCourage/cache/images/Life-SizedCourage/proportion/IMG_2408_w140_h140/IMG_2408_10310100.jpg)
The first time I wore a mask I was three years old and was aware of the tiny holes for my nostrils, and the slit for my mouth. Not easy breathing, but so exciting to this little girl. I was a cat, Felix the Cat, to be precise. My one piece, highly-flammable costume had a small tie in the back of the black and white jumpsuit. I held a small paper bag for my trick or treat goodies next to my sister Sharyn and my dad who came home from work early to escort us up and down our New Jersey suburban block.
Funny Thing About Gratitude, Week 26 in the Time of Transition
![Funny Thing About Gratitude, Week 26 in the Time of Transition Funny Thing About Gratitude, Week 26 in the Time of Transition](images/Life-SizedCourage/cache/images/Life-SizedCourage/proportion/IMG_2386_w140_h140/IMG_2386_10240715.jpg)
I find it incredibly annoying when I’m upset about a person, place, or thing, I’m on a rant, and the individual listening responds by telling me I should be grateful. It feels like a dismissal of my complaint, valid or not, and a recommendation that I pivot to a “soft music inserted here” blissful moment when I see how lovely life is and how wrong I was to find the awful in this grand world we inhabit.