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Flaws
Ai Instillation, The Twenty-Eighth Week in the Second Year of the New Abnormal
![Ai Instillation, The Twenty-Eighth Week in the Second Year of the New Abnormal Ai Instillation, The Twenty-Eighth Week in the Second Year of the New Abnormal](images/Life-SizedCourage/cache/images/Life-SizedCourage/proportion/IMG_7671_w140_h140/IMG_7671_07160911.jpg)
I was tired, it was hot, and I was happy to be at MOMA, the Museum of Modern Art, on West 53rd Street. The galleries were crowded, but I took my time enjoying new exhibitions and old favorites. After the slow perusal of four floors, I was spent. But I still had almost an hour before our dinner reservation down the block.
Bickering, The Twenty-Seventh Week of the Second Year in the New Abnormal
![Bickering, The Twenty-Seventh Week of the Second Year in the New Abnormal Bickering, The Twenty-Seventh Week of the Second Year in the New Abnormal](images/Life-SizedCourage/cache/images/Life-SizedCourage/proportion/IMG_7636_w140_h140/IMG_7636_07080309.jpg)
My son told me last weekend that he hoped he won’t have disagreements in his relationships like I have with my husband when he’s older. It was interesting to hear, and as far as I understand he believes that with the amount of therapy, mindfulness practice, as well as the fact that I am a psychotherapist, I should be further along in my personal development, especially when it comes to my marriage. There was a time I would have agreed. I would have seen my defensiveness when my feelings are hurt, and that my feelings get hurt at all, as a fault in my character.
Rest & Activity, The Twenty-Fifth Week in the Second Year of the New Abnormal
![Rest & Activity, The Twenty-Fifth Week in the Second Year of the New Abnormal Rest & Activity, The Twenty-Fifth Week in the Second Year of the New Abnormal](images/Life-SizedCourage/cache/images/Life-SizedCourage/proportion/IMG_6761_w140_h140/IMG_6761_06250349.jpg)
Fathers Day, The Twenty-Fourth Week of the Second Year in the New Abnormal
![Fathers Day, The Twenty-Fourth Week of the Second Year in the New Abnormal Fathers Day, The Twenty-Fourth Week of the Second Year in the New Abnormal](images/Life-SizedCourage/cache/images/Life-SizedCourage/proportion/IMG_7401_w140_h140/IMG_7401_06181035.jpg)
Happy Father’s Day. When I say that it conjures up so much for me and for so many others, I expect you included. Many of us have had varied relationships with our fathers nothing like Father Knows Best, The Courtship of Eddie’s Father, Blackish, or even Home Improvement. If only we could tune in for 30 minutes a week and enjoy the comical moments that focus on the highlights of the best parts of them, with a little silly thrown in.
Split, The Twenty-Third Week of the Second Year in the New Abnormal
![Split, The Twenty-Third Week of the Second Year in the New Abnormal Split, The Twenty-Third Week of the Second Year in the New Abnormal](images/Life-SizedCourage/cache/images/Life-SizedCourage/proportion/IMG_7239_w140_h140/IMG_7239_06100753.jpg)
It was a mere coincidence that we happen to be in Split, Croatia the same day the New York Times travel section featured 36 hours in Split. It’s about the same amount of time we’ll be in Split, which is a beautiful port city on the coast of the Adriatic Sea.
Goodbye Grumpiness, The Twenty-Second Week of the Second Year in the New Abnormal
![Goodbye Grumpiness, The Twenty-Second Week of the Second Year in the New Abnormal Goodbye Grumpiness, The Twenty-Second Week of the Second Year in the New Abnormal](images/Life-SizedCourage/cache/images/Life-SizedCourage/proportion/IMG_7202_w140_h140/IMG_7202_06030900.jpg)
I noticed that by the end of my work week I was short on compassion. My go to was frustration, impatience, or barely disguised anger. It was simple things. I was missing paperwork that had been promised me. A pair of reading glasses broke. And then there were a string of simple annoyances.
Train Delay, The Twenty-First Week of the Second-Year in the New Abnormal
![Train Delay, The Twenty-First Week of the Second-Year in the New Abnormal Train Delay, The Twenty-First Week of the Second-Year in the New Abnormal](images/Life-SizedCourage/cache/images/Life-SizedCourage/proportion/IMG_7053(1)_w140_h140/IMG_7053(1)_05280311.jpg)
The Q train came to a halting stop. An announcement immediately came on asking “Who pulled the emergency cord?” At the end of our car, a good citizen thinking there was a request to pull the cord, got up from her seat, pulled the cord, even as the train stood idle. She sat back down returning to her book. A hardcover, old school, though she looked barely 25.
Mother's Day Ambivalence, The Nineteenth Week in the Second Year of the New Abnormal
![Mother's Day Ambivalence, The Nineteenth Week in the Second Year of the New Abnormal Mother's Day Ambivalence, The Nineteenth Week in the Second Year of the New Abnormal](images/Life-SizedCourage/cache/images/Life-SizedCourage/proportion/IMG_7037_w140_h140/IMG_7037_05120657.jpg)
I, like many, have mixed feelings about Mother’s Day.
As a daughter I knew that I loved my mom, and I also yearned for her acceptance, spending far too much of my babysitting money to bask in the momentary approval of an expensive Mother’s Day gift. I’d set up Arlene’s Kitchen, honoring our mom. It was a made-up restaurant in our home with hand-written menus for the family. Nervous about what I might cook, I’d prep all the possibilities from eggs, any type of French toast or bagels & lox. As down home as those brunches were, they were followed by the certainty that my clean-up techniques would be met with inevitable disapproval. No one could make a countertop shine like my mom.
A Full Moon, The Eighteenth Week in the Second Year of the New Abnormal
![A Full Moon, The Eighteenth Week in the Second Year of the New Abnormal A Full Moon, The Eighteenth Week in the Second Year of the New Abnormal](images/Life-SizedCourage/cache/images/Life-SizedCourage/proportion/IMG_7008_w140_h140/IMG_7008_05070509.jpg)
It was a full moon this week. I love looking up on a clear night and viewing the magical, mystical moon between the high rises. Ever since I was a child I’ve found the moon an enchantress. Myths have their place, and for many years I counted on myths to justify my outsized love of a full moon. In times of feeling invisible I felt seen by the moon.
Our Relationship With the Weather, The Seventeenth Week of the Second Year in the New Abnormal
![Our Relationship With the Weather, The Seventeenth Week of the Second Year in the New Abnormal Our Relationship With the Weather, The Seventeenth Week of the Second Year in the New Abnormal](images/Life-SizedCourage/cache/images/Life-SizedCourage/proportion/IMG_6756_w140_h140/IMG_6756_04300726.jpg)
Growing up we wore rubbers or rubber boots, gently stretching them until they covered our shoes. It was a hassle taking them on and off. But to keep our leather saddle shoes somewhat dry, we sported rubbers over our two-toned oxfords. These days my low rubber boots are the only shoes I need when it’s wet outside. They keep the water from soaking my socks and allow me to walk about in the rain.
NYBG, The Sixteenth Week of the Second Year in the New Abnormal
![NYBG, The Sixteenth Week of the Second Year in the New Abnormal NYBG, The Sixteenth Week of the Second Year in the New Abnormal](images/Life-SizedCourage/cache/images/Life-SizedCourage/proportion/IMG_6809_w140_h140/IMG_6809_04220934.jpg)
My mom had a green thumb. She could keep any plant or planted flower alive for years. One of her favorite flowering plants was orchids. She loved the dramatic curve and the delicate flowers. She had a knack for keeping them alive and thriving for years. A couple of times I found orchids I thought she would love. I carefully brought them home reading the instructions and tending to them so they would make the perfect gift. However, by the time they made it to her doorstep the blooms would fall and the sad gifts never reflected the hope I had of a lush and luxurious present.
Let's Do Better, The Fifteenth Week of the Second Year in the New Abnormal
![Let's Do Better, The Fifteenth Week of the Second Year in the New Abnormal Let's Do Better, The Fifteenth Week of the Second Year in the New Abnormal](images/Life-SizedCourage/cache/images/Life-SizedCourage/proportion/IMG_6600_w140_h140/IMG_6600_04150856.jpg)
I came home late last night after seeing a beautifully moving theater piece by Suzan-Lori Parks. Retrieving our mail, I saw a broken glass and a brick on the lobby carpet. Apparently, a group of teens were told to leave the area while smoking. So one of them in anger threw a brick through the window to show ‘them.” It created more work for the porter and super who had to clean up and repair on their weekend off, when they were nowhere near the incident.
Tattle Tales, The Fourteenth Week in the Second Year of the New Abnormal
![Tattle Tales, The Fourteenth Week in the Second Year of the New Abnormal Tattle Tales, The Fourteenth Week in the Second Year of the New Abnormal](images/Life-SizedCourage/cache/images/Life-SizedCourage/proportion/IMG_6674_w140_h140/IMG_6674_04081135.jpg)
I grew up with three siblings. If you grew up with siblings, as I did, you are familiar with the age-old enterprise of tattling. My younger sister, Susan, now Chova Sara, was the tattletale. She was the one that thought it important to report to my parents, usually our mom, whatever misadventures we were enacting. When I was six to her four, she ran to our mom to say I wasn’t letting her play with my Barbies. This was true, but only because she cut their hair and drew on them with crayons. Nonetheless, I had to release more dolls to her based on “fairness.” This made no sense to me, but she got what she wanted, and it spurred her on for years.
Dashed Plans, The Thirteenth Week in the Second Year of the New Abnormal
![Dashed Plans, The Thirteenth Week in the Second Year of the New Abnormal Dashed Plans, The Thirteenth Week in the Second Year of the New Abnormal](images/Life-SizedCourage/cache/images/Life-SizedCourage/proportion/IMG_6601_w140_h140/IMG_6601_04020343.jpg)
I am a planner. Though I am open to spontaneous experiences, I usually rely on my calendar to settle into the day. In recent months I have had to change plans a good number of times. Often, I’ve enjoyed folding the new into what I had expected. But this last week too many plans changed, and my equilibrium is off. My sense of self along with my comfort levels are being tested.
Fails, The Twelfth Week in the Second Year of the New Abnormal
![Fails, The Twelfth Week in the Second Year of the New Abnormal Fails, The Twelfth Week in the Second Year of the New Abnormal](images/Life-SizedCourage/cache/images/Life-SizedCourage/proportion/IMG_5700_w140_h140/IMG_5700_03251030.jpg)
I just heard that The Museum of Failure in Brooklyn opened last week (https://museumoffailure.com). It’s primarily a collection of product fails through the last 5 decades or so. I’m happy to be celebrating failure. Their slogan is “Innovation Needs Failure!” I’m not so sure I can say I’ve been innovative, unless one considers resourcefulness as an innovation, but I can say with absolute certainty that I, too, have a history of failures.
Unexpected Kindness, The Eleventh Week of the Second Year in the New Abnormal
![Unexpected Kindness, The Eleventh Week of the Second Year in the New Abnormal Unexpected Kindness, The Eleventh Week of the Second Year in the New Abnormal](images/Life-SizedCourage/cache/images/Life-SizedCourage/proportion/IMG_6466_w140_h140/IMG_6466_03180850.jpg)
I left my passport at the hotel two and half miles from Reykjavik. I was leaving for JFK the next day. We had had a magnificent trip, and my passport was in the safe where I left it along with U.S. dollars I wasn’t going to spend in Iceland. Our driver, an adventure tour guide in his own right, was going to drop off some guests and pick up passengers to bring back to the capitol city the next morning. He would be happy to bring back my passport and drive us to the airport. The magnificent experience continued.
Sunrise Reflections, The Ninth Week in the Second Year of the New Abnormal
![Sunrise Reflections, The Ninth Week in the Second Year of the New Abnormal Sunrise Reflections, The Ninth Week in the Second Year of the New Abnormal](images/Life-SizedCourage/cache/images/Life-SizedCourage/proportion/IMG_6251_w140_h140/IMG_6251_03051224.jpg)
Unlike many recommendations for sleep hygiene, I do not go to sleep the same time each night. Some nights I work late, some nights I enjoy the theater or other live entertainment. Some nights I’m reading, while others I’m catching up on a television show. I do my best to listen to signs of being tired if I’m at home, and I put myself to sleep accordingly. Inevitably, this leaves me in a perpetual state of never quite catching up with the shows I enjoy.
Be Gone the Bygone, The Eighth Week of the Second Year in the New Abnormal
![Be Gone the Bygone, The Eighth Week of the Second Year in the New Abnormal Be Gone the Bygone, The Eighth Week of the Second Year in the New Abnormal](images/Life-SizedCourage/cache/images/Life-SizedCourage/proportion/IMG_6211_w140_h140/IMG_6211_02250743.jpg)
Years ago I had a phone book. It looked like a fabric-covered hardback, divided by letters of the alphabet neatly cut into tabs descending on the paper’s edge. Often the pages were outlined in gold ink. I’d get an updated one every few years and I’d transfer the names, addresses, and phone numbers into my new, usually colorful, phone book. These were also the days in which long distance phone calls were a big deal and we were reminded to speak quickly since we were being charged by the minute. Phones had cords and were strategically placed in one or more locations in our homes. A bygone era. Yes, I have become a senior stereotype.
I Quit! The Sixth Week of the Second Year of the New Abnormal
![I Quit! The Sixth Week of the Second Year of the New Abnormal I Quit! The Sixth Week of the Second Year of the New Abnormal](images/Life-SizedCourage/cache/images/Life-SizedCourage/proportion/IMG_6104_w140_h140/IMG_6104_02120133.jpg)
I was walking downtown listening to a light novel, a quasi-romcom. It had started off well and then it took a nose-dive from there. About halfway to my destination I turned it off. I simply wasn’t enjoying it anymore. I had wanted a break from heavier subjects or professional readings. This was not the break I needed.
BRRR, The Fifth Week in the Second Year of the New Abnormal
![BRRR, The Fifth Week in the Second Year of the New Abnormal BRRR, The Fifth Week in the Second Year of the New Abnormal](images/Life-SizedCourage/cache/images/Life-SizedCourage/proportion/IMG_5885(1)_w140_h140/IMG_5885(1)_01080316.jpg)
Wow! I just went out to walk Lucy. It sure is cold out there. A good portion of the country is very cold. New York City is no exception this weekend. Just taking Lucy out for a short walk means bundling up for a solid five minutes to make sure the least amount of skin is exposed to the frigid air.