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Selfishness
Nature Speaks, The Forty-Sixth Week of the Second Year in the New Abnormal
![Nature Speaks, The Forty-Sixth Week of the Second Year in the New Abnormal Nature Speaks, The Forty-Sixth Week of the Second Year in the New Abnormal](images/Life-SizedCourage/cache/images/Life-SizedCourage/proportion/IMG_8639%202_w140_h140/IMG_8639%202_11181010.jpg)
Autumn colors fire up Central Park. I had the good fortune of walking through the park on several occasions this past week. I was reminded that this season represents the last of the foliage as the trees and plants prepare for the winter. Following winter comes a renewal as Spring brings greenery and flowers to enjoy. Just seeing the colorful trees brought hope.
Daylight Savings Time, The Forty-Fourth Week of the Second Year in the New Abnormal
![Daylight Savings Time, The Forty-Fourth Week of the Second Year in the New Abnormal Daylight Savings Time, The Forty-Fourth Week of the Second Year in the New Abnormal](images/Life-SizedCourage/cache/images/Life-SizedCourage/proportion/IMG_8640_w140_h140/IMG_8640_11050312.jpg)
I voted early yesterday. I like my councilwoman and I wanted to keep her in office. What I don’t get to vote for is the abolishment of daylight savings time. We turned the clocks back last night, and ostensibly we got an extra hour of sleep. Then in April we “spring” ahead losing that hour. I say, no thank you.
Happy Halloween, The Forty-Third Week of the Second Year in the New Abnormal
![Happy Halloween, The Forty-Third Week of the Second Year in the New Abnormal Happy Halloween, The Forty-Third Week of the Second Year in the New Abnormal](images/Life-SizedCourage/cache/images/Life-SizedCourage/proportion/IMG_8507_w140_h140/IMG_8507_10281050.jpg)
Some weeks are harder than others. Having heard from a number of people this past week was just such a week. I can certainly include myself in that mix. For that reason, I am going to don a virtual mask, making this a quick post, while wishing you all a Happy Halloween. Here are some city pics of the season.
Self-Care Tips:
- Give yourself a break. If things are hard, find ways to let go of the normal routines to provide the energy needed for whatever is essential.
- Dark humor that does not hurt anyone can even help in hard times.
- If you celebrate, enjoy Halloween. If you don’t celebrate, lean into JOMO, the joy of missing out.
Happy Halloween, The Forty-Third Week of the Second Year in the New Abnormal
![Happy Halloween, The Forty-Third Week of the Second Year in the New Abnormal Happy Halloween, The Forty-Third Week of the Second Year in the New Abnormal](images/Life-SizedCourage/cache/images/Life-SizedCourage/proportion/IMG_8507_w140_h140/IMG_8507_10281050.jpg)
Some weeks are harder than others. Having heard from a number of people this past week was just such a week. I can certainly include myself in that mix. For that reason, I am going to don a virtual mask, making this a quick post, while wishing you all a Happy Halloween. Here are some city pics of the season.
Self-Care Tips:
- Give yourself a break. If things are hard, find ways to let go of the normal routines to provide the energy needed for whatever is essential.
- Dark humor that does not hurt anyone can even help in hard times.
- If you celebrate, enjoy Halloween. If you don’t celebrate, lean into JOMO, the joy of missing out.
Those Who Inspire Us, The Forty-Second Week in the Second Year of the New Abnormal
![Those Who Inspire Us, The Forty-Second Week in the Second Year of the New Abnormal Those Who Inspire Us, The Forty-Second Week in the Second Year of the New Abnormal](images/Life-SizedCourage/cache/images/Life-SizedCourage/proportion/IMG_8534_w140_h140/IMG_8534_10220143.jpg)
’ve been watching Dear… on Apple TV. I found it by accident. While looking for another program a small square with Selena Gomez’s image caught my eye. I clicked on her framed face and came upon Dear… I watched the 30-minute segment and was immediately hooked. The series features individuals in the public eye, some athletes, actors, writers, or activists, as they engage with letters of those who have been inspired by them The featured famous person’s influence has helped to change the letter writers’ lives.
What is Self-Care? The Fortieth Week of the Second Year in the New Abnormal
![What is Self-Care? The Fortieth Week of the Second Year in the New Abnormal What is Self-Care? The Fortieth Week of the Second Year in the New Abnormal](images/Life-SizedCourage/cache/images/Life-SizedCourage/proportion/IMG_8410_w140_h140/IMG_8410_10070836.jpg)
When I was growing up in suburban New Jersey I didn’t know anything about self-care. The first experience I had that felt like self-care was when my mom treated me to a facial at Strawbridge and Clothier. They were having a special promotion. Although I couldn’t control my weigh, we could try to tackle my acne this one time.
Saying Nothing, The Thirty-Ninth Week in the Second Year of the New Abnormal
![Saying Nothing, The Thirty-Ninth Week in the Second Year of the New Abnormal Saying Nothing, The Thirty-Ninth Week in the Second Year of the New Abnormal](images/Life-SizedCourage/cache/images/Life-SizedCourage/proportion/IMG_8383_w140_h140/IMG_8383_10010414.jpg)
“If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all.” That was a common idiom of our mother’s lexicon. She lived true to that statement. Even when she attempted to comment on something she disapproved of, she did her best to soften it. As a teen, I often was asked the question, “Janet, do you think that’s the most complementary outfit?“ Or it could have been make-up, pants, hair style or any other appearance-related observation. As a sensitive teen I was crushed no matter how much she tried to say it diplomatically.
Hygge, The Thirty-Eighth Week of the Second Year in the New Abnormal
![Hygge, The Thirty-Eighth Week of the Second Year in the New Abnormal Hygge, The Thirty-Eighth Week of the Second Year in the New Abnormal](images/Life-SizedCourage/cache/images/Life-SizedCourage/proportion/IMG_8306_w140_h140/IMG_8306_09241246.jpg)
Hurt by Half, The Thirty-Sixth Week of the Second Year in the New Abnormal
![Hurt by Half, The Thirty-Sixth Week of the Second Year in the New Abnormal Hurt by Half, The Thirty-Sixth Week of the Second Year in the New Abnormal](images/Life-SizedCourage/cache/images/Life-SizedCourage/proportion/IMG_8076_w140_h140/IMG_8076_09090738.jpg)
I was ten years old. The person who I had considered my best friend was in the Stafford School auditorium with her class, and I was with my class for a school-wide assembly. Assemblies felt important. Usually the principal spoke. He was a tall, somber man who communicated in hushed tones lending an atmosphere of solemnity to childhood gatherings.
Behind the Facade, The Thirty-Third Week of the Second Year in the New Abnormal
![Behind the Facade, The Thirty-Third Week of the Second Year in the New Abnormal Behind the Facade, The Thirty-Third Week of the Second Year in the New Abnormal](images/Life-SizedCourage/cache/images/Life-SizedCourage/proportion/IMG_7907_w140_h140/IMG_7907_08200332.jpg)
Growing up my mother and her mother were sticklers for good manners. I made a point of saying please and thank you. I was afraid they would view me as rude, and I didn’t want that moniker. My grandmother would point out other children who might have been louder than us, or publicly whiny, and she’d use those children as cautionary tails of behavior we were to stringently avoid.
Summer Relief, The Thirty-Second Week in the Second Year of the New Abnormal
![Summer Relief, The Thirty-Second Week in the Second Year of the New Abnormal Summer Relief, The Thirty-Second Week in the Second Year of the New Abnormal](images/Life-SizedCourage/cache/images/Life-SizedCourage/proportion/IMG_7819_w140_h140/IMG_7819_08131229.jpg)
Although this cannot be said of much of the country or world, we in New York City have enjoyed a reprieve from the intense heat of July. It has been delightful. Today I relished a breezy morning riding my low-to-the-ground bicycle up and down Park Avenue for the annual Summer Streets event. The Department of Transportation closes streets on Saturdays in all five boroughs throughout late July and August for pedestrians, joggers, and cyclists as a way of promoting greener transportation.
Mundane Day, The Thirty-First Week of the Second Year in the New Abnormal
![Mundane Day, The Thirty-First Week of the Second Year in the New Abnormal Mundane Day, The Thirty-First Week of the Second Year in the New Abnormal](images/Life-SizedCourage/cache/images/Life-SizedCourage/proportion/IMG_6952(1)_w140_h140/IMG_6952(1)_08060229.jpg)
What am I doing this weekend? Nothing special and everything essential. In an Instagram world of glamourous posts, my weekend is the antithesis of awesome. I started early to ensure I could easily access the washing machines needed for the weekly laundry. Luckily for me, it was a ghost town before 7 am, and I peacefully and quietly secured my machines and loaded them from the full hampers.
Lost in Brooklyn, The Twenty-Ninth Week in the Second Year of the New Abnormal
![Lost in Brooklyn, The Twenty-Ninth Week in the Second Year of the New Abnormal Lost in Brooklyn, The Twenty-Ninth Week in the Second Year of the New Abnormal](images/Life-SizedCourage/cache/images/Life-SizedCourage/proportion/IMG_7524_w140_h140/IMG_7524_07221023.jpg)
I set out to go to The Brooklyn Museum to see the Africa Fashion exhibit. I had intended to see it twice before but got waylaid, so my determination to get there yesterday was fierce. My plan was to slowly jog in Prospect Park getting out at the arch and walking the few blocks to the museum. Once I made it to Prospect Park at an unfamiliar entrance, I opened up Maps on my iPhone and set off.
Bickering, The Twenty-Seventh Week of the Second Year in the New Abnormal
![Bickering, The Twenty-Seventh Week of the Second Year in the New Abnormal Bickering, The Twenty-Seventh Week of the Second Year in the New Abnormal](images/Life-SizedCourage/cache/images/Life-SizedCourage/proportion/IMG_7636_w140_h140/IMG_7636_07080309.jpg)
My son told me last weekend that he hoped he won’t have disagreements in his relationships like I have with my husband when he’s older. It was interesting to hear, and as far as I understand he believes that with the amount of therapy, mindfulness practice, as well as the fact that I am a psychotherapist, I should be further along in my personal development, especially when it comes to my marriage. There was a time I would have agreed. I would have seen my defensiveness when my feelings are hurt, and that my feelings get hurt at all, as a fault in my character.
Fathers Day, The Twenty-Fourth Week of the Second Year in the New Abnormal
![Fathers Day, The Twenty-Fourth Week of the Second Year in the New Abnormal Fathers Day, The Twenty-Fourth Week of the Second Year in the New Abnormal](images/Life-SizedCourage/cache/images/Life-SizedCourage/proportion/IMG_7401_w140_h140/IMG_7401_06181035.jpg)
Happy Father’s Day. When I say that it conjures up so much for me and for so many others, I expect you included. Many of us have had varied relationships with our fathers nothing like Father Knows Best, The Courtship of Eddie’s Father, Blackish, or even Home Improvement. If only we could tune in for 30 minutes a week and enjoy the comical moments that focus on the highlights of the best parts of them, with a little silly thrown in.
Split, The Twenty-Third Week of the Second Year in the New Abnormal
![Split, The Twenty-Third Week of the Second Year in the New Abnormal Split, The Twenty-Third Week of the Second Year in the New Abnormal](images/Life-SizedCourage/cache/images/Life-SizedCourage/proportion/IMG_7239_w140_h140/IMG_7239_06100753.jpg)
It was a mere coincidence that we happen to be in Split, Croatia the same day the New York Times travel section featured 36 hours in Split. It’s about the same amount of time we’ll be in Split, which is a beautiful port city on the coast of the Adriatic Sea.
Goodbye Grumpiness, The Twenty-Second Week of the Second Year in the New Abnormal
![Goodbye Grumpiness, The Twenty-Second Week of the Second Year in the New Abnormal Goodbye Grumpiness, The Twenty-Second Week of the Second Year in the New Abnormal](images/Life-SizedCourage/cache/images/Life-SizedCourage/proportion/IMG_7202_w140_h140/IMG_7202_06030900.jpg)
I noticed that by the end of my work week I was short on compassion. My go to was frustration, impatience, or barely disguised anger. It was simple things. I was missing paperwork that had been promised me. A pair of reading glasses broke. And then there were a string of simple annoyances.
Train Delay, The Twenty-First Week of the Second-Year in the New Abnormal
![Train Delay, The Twenty-First Week of the Second-Year in the New Abnormal Train Delay, The Twenty-First Week of the Second-Year in the New Abnormal](images/Life-SizedCourage/cache/images/Life-SizedCourage/proportion/IMG_7053(1)_w140_h140/IMG_7053(1)_05280311.jpg)
The Q train came to a halting stop. An announcement immediately came on asking “Who pulled the emergency cord?” At the end of our car, a good citizen thinking there was a request to pull the cord, got up from her seat, pulled the cord, even as the train stood idle. She sat back down returning to her book. A hardcover, old school, though she looked barely 25.
Mother's Day Ambivalence, The Nineteenth Week in the Second Year of the New Abnormal
![Mother's Day Ambivalence, The Nineteenth Week in the Second Year of the New Abnormal Mother's Day Ambivalence, The Nineteenth Week in the Second Year of the New Abnormal](images/Life-SizedCourage/cache/images/Life-SizedCourage/proportion/IMG_7037_w140_h140/IMG_7037_05120657.jpg)
I, like many, have mixed feelings about Mother’s Day.
As a daughter I knew that I loved my mom, and I also yearned for her acceptance, spending far too much of my babysitting money to bask in the momentary approval of an expensive Mother’s Day gift. I’d set up Arlene’s Kitchen, honoring our mom. It was a made-up restaurant in our home with hand-written menus for the family. Nervous about what I might cook, I’d prep all the possibilities from eggs, any type of French toast or bagels & lox. As down home as those brunches were, they were followed by the certainty that my clean-up techniques would be met with inevitable disapproval. No one could make a countertop shine like my mom.
A Full Moon, The Eighteenth Week in the Second Year of the New Abnormal
![A Full Moon, The Eighteenth Week in the Second Year of the New Abnormal A Full Moon, The Eighteenth Week in the Second Year of the New Abnormal](images/Life-SizedCourage/cache/images/Life-SizedCourage/proportion/IMG_7008_w140_h140/IMG_7008_05070509.jpg)
It was a full moon this week. I love looking up on a clear night and viewing the magical, mystical moon between the high rises. Ever since I was a child I’ve found the moon an enchantress. Myths have their place, and for many years I counted on myths to justify my outsized love of a full moon. In times of feeling invisible I felt seen by the moon.