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Groundedness
Not This! Week Seventeen in the Time of Transition
![Not This! Week Seventeen in the Time of Transition Not This! Week Seventeen in the Time of Transition](images/Life-SizedCourage/cache/images/Life-SizedCourage/proportion/IMG_1890_w140_h140/IMG_1890_08220202.jpg)
Cloudy, Week Fifteen in the Time of Transition
![Cloudy, Week Fifteen in the Time of Transition Cloudy, Week Fifteen in the Time of Transition](images/Life-SizedCourage/cache/images/Life-SizedCourage/proportion/IMG_1407_w140_h140/IMG_1407_06270426.jpg)
I shifted my routine earlier this week to catch the sunrise. Typically I relish the space between sleep and daytime. The sweet spot of the morning. Following those moments I shift into meditation, then move on from there with coffee and the rest of the day. As soon as I awoke I brushed my teeth and ran to the East River to get a glimpse of the sunrise.
Goodbye With the Old, Week Fourteen in the Time of Transition
![Goodbye With the Old, Week Fourteen in the Time of Transition Goodbye With the Old, Week Fourteen in the Time of Transition](images/Life-SizedCourage/cache/images/Life-SizedCourage/proportion/IMG_1640_w140_h140/IMG_1640_08010123.jpg)
I’m in my congested closet trying to decide which of the various, multi-colored pocketbooks and bags I’m going to let go. I tend to rely on the same two or three, but I love to choose from the others on special occasions. Of course, there have been few special occasions in the past year or so. Nonetheless I had the privilege of attending a joyous outdoor event last night, and though no one else would care, I was so happy to sport the perfect small, blue bag for the evening.
Small Moments, Week Thirteen in the Time of Transition
![Small Moments, Week Thirteen in the Time of Transition Small Moments, Week Thirteen in the Time of Transition](images/Life-SizedCourage/cache/images/Life-SizedCourage/proportion/IMG_1572_w140_h140/IMG_1572_07251212.jpg)
Lazy Summer Days, Week Twelve in the Time of Transition
![Lazy Summer Days, Week Twelve in the Time of Transition Lazy Summer Days, Week Twelve in the Time of Transition](images/Life-SizedCourage/cache/images/Life-SizedCourage/proportion/IMG_1477_w140_h140/IMG_1477_07180211.jpg)
I still remember my summers visiting friends and family at the Jersey Shore. This was well before Atlantic City was burdened with casinos. These were the days of shows at the Steel Pier and fragrant strolls on the boardwalk with Mr. Peanut greeting us on our way to James for salt water taffy. Those were the lazy summer days I enjoyed in my former years.
Nothing is Perfect
![Nothing is Perfect Nothing is Perfect](images/Life-SizedCourage/cache/images/Life-SizedCourage/proportion/IMG_1323_w140_h140/IMG_1323_06200122.jpg)
Happy Father’s Day. For all who are fathers or have present and past relationships with your fathers, only you know how best to honor what you’re experiencing. And, for those who do not have relationships with your dads, or who have complicated relationships, take care of yourselves. That’s all I’ll say about that.
I was preoccupied this past week with a few things that didn’t quite work out the way I would have liked. You know when you hear people say, “I don’t like to complain,” and then they’re off and running with their objections? I am not that person. I actually like to complain. Truthfully it’s more that I feel compelled to complain, than that I like it, out and out. I tend to be very particular and even when things are going really well, I’m apt to find the fly in the ointment.
No Ending to Mental Health Awareness Month, Week Five in the Time of Transition
![No Ending to Mental Health Awareness Month, Week Five in the Time of Transition No Ending to Mental Health Awareness Month, Week Five in the Time of Transition](images/Life-SizedCourage/cache/images/Life-SizedCourage/proportion/IMG_1108_w140_h140/IMG_1108_05300144.jpg)
Emotions Ebb & Flow, Week Twenty-Eight of the New Abnormal
![Emotions Ebb & Flow, Week Twenty-Eight of the New Abnormal Emotions Ebb & Flow, Week Twenty-Eight of the New Abnormal](images/Life-SizedCourage/cache/images/Life-SizedCourage/proportion/IMG_4476_w140_h140/IMG_4476_07100504.jpg)
The cycling of moods continues. Today I’m happy. It’s beautiful outside. I get to walk on fairly empty sidewalks, and I’m ticking things off my to-do list. Earlier this week I was crestfallen. Too many tragedies and so much shared pain in the world. I find it fascinating how the ups and downs shift from day to day. Well, really, from moment to moment.
You Never Know, Week 46 in the Time of Coronavirus
Sometimes I find myself quick to judge. I hear a whiny individual at a Zoom meeting, and I silently groan. I also know that there have been times, and I chance to say there are still times, in which I am the one who warrants another’s groan. In my more open-minded moments, I remember that everyone is trying the best they can. We are all going through this pandemic, and there’s nothing easy about that. But there are other times when my exhaustion and impatience take over and I am unforgiving of anyone who annoys me from the selfishly maskless to virtual-meeting squeaky wheels.
Something I’ve noticed recently in my professional and personal life is how instantaneously we are to jump from one emotional state to...
What We Don't Know, Week 45 in the Time of Coronavirus
I have to admit that I wasn’t sure that the judge I watched numerous times on Law and Order was Fran Lebowitz. It looked like her, but was she a doppelganger, or was she, in fact, the writer? After watching “Pretend it’s a City,” Martin Scorsese’s excellent (in my opinion) docu-series of Fran Lebowitz, I was happy to learn that, yes, it was her as Judge Janice Goldberg in the original Law & Order.
The short series on Netflix was a delightful, laughter-filled escape from current events this past week. I learned a lot, evaluated my own thinking, and admired FL’s ability to speak her personal truths, thoughts I often have, but don’t share aloud. Somehow the cable show also had me pondering on the...
Boy, Oh, Boy, Week 44 in the Time of Coronavirus
Yesterday I hit the wall. Before I lost all steam, I had lofty plans. I had research to do. There is always cleaning and organizing. I was behind on my writing. Yet, by the time I was three fourths of the way through a walk in Central Park, I felt as if I was dragging my leaden legs on the southern arc of the Reservoir. When I finally reached home, I couldn’t get my sweats on fast enough. Then Lucy had to go out. I love her, and also dearly wished there was someone else who would have taken her out. I was able to speak with a friend from the other coast, and that gave me a pleasurable energy shot. Though life in California is as fraught as it...
Cautiously Optimistic, Week 43 in the Time of Coronavirus
Is this really a Happy New Year? Yes, we survived 2020. And, yet, recalling how happy we were to be in a new decade just a year ago, we are constantly reminded of the unexpected turn of events in March.
In this first weekend of the new year, we take stock of the meaning of “hindsight is 2020.” Relieved that 2020 is behind us, our memories are raw from all we witnessed, and all we faced personally. I now know the impact of ongoing stress on my body and mind. I am just beginning to understand what is required to sooth myself and support others going through the intensity of extreme tension. Sometimes it means reaching out and caring for someone, taking the attention off myself. Other...
So Long 2020, Week 42 in the Time of Coronavirus
Before the end of this week we will welcome in a new year. Never will there have been a greater collective sigh throughout the globe than at the rotating midnight hour of 1/1/2021. We all faced many challenges throughout the year. And we all learned essential truths about ourselves. I learned that doing less was a relief. I learned that patience is not an end point, but an ongoing process. I learned to use my crankier tendences as a reflection on what vulnerabilities I am attempting to protect. I learned that I still have a lot to learn in asking for help. Plus, I learned that 2020 gave us endless opportunities to learn. I also learned that even with the possibility of learning, sometimes learning to relax was the...
Stressing About Stress, Week 22 in the Time of Coronavirus
![Stressing About Stress, Week 22 in the Time of Coronavirus Stressing About Stress, Week 22 in the Time of Coronavirus](images/Life-SizedCourage/cache/images/Life-SizedCourage/blog/janetzinn_files_wordpress_com_2020_08/proportion/img_3341_w140_h140/img_3341_02090745.jpeg)
For the first time in years we will be at a place where there is no WiFi or cell service. To that end I set a deadline for myself to complete this post before we left. ...
Boredom, Week 21 in the Time of Coronavirus
![Boredom, Week 21 in the Time of Coronavirus Boredom, Week 21 in the Time of Coronavirus](images/Life-SizedCourage/cache/images/Life-SizedCourage/blog/janetzinn_files_wordpress_com_2020_08/proportion/img_3177_w140_h140/img_3177_02090745.jpeg)
I’m coming up with a lot of private games. Can I meditate and let my thoughts pass by or will I go on a tangent and then find myself caught between my imagination and the present moment? Will I be able to find an isolated spot in the city and take a deep breath without my...
I Went All the Way
![I Went All the Way I Went All the Way](images/Life-SizedCourage/cache/images/Life-SizedCourage/blog/janetzinn_files_wordpress_com_2019_08/proportion/img_0761_w140_h140/img_0761_02090744.jpeg)
Sometimes something so simple can be hard. I had the idea of riding my bike on the last Summer Streets on Park Avenue down to the Brooklyn Bridge. I keep my bike in my office. It’s a short folding bike, allowing for both my feet to touch the ground when I stop. It’s in my office so I can get out when the impulse strikes. It rarely strikes. I call myself a wimpy rider since I want to easily touch the ground, and I am not skilled enough to weave in and out of traffic. I will only face the streets to get into Central Park or ride on the East River promenade to Randall’s Island where there are few...
No, Thank You
![No, Thank You No, Thank You](images/Life-SizedCourage/cache/images/Life-SizedCourage/blog/janetzinn_files_wordpress_com_2019_01/proportion/images_1_w140_h140/images_1_02090744.jpeg)
It’s...
A Trip to Africa
![A Trip to Africa A Trip to Africa](images/Life-SizedCourage/cache/images/Life-SizedCourage/blog/janetzinn_files_wordpress_com_2018_07/proportion/img_14285_w140_h140/img_14285_02090744.jpg)
What can I say about a dream come true? Shall I say that I spent most of my life believing my dreams wouldn’t be fulfilled? I lived much of my early years longing for the things that others had. The thing about my longings is that it kept me out of the loop. There’s an unspoken presumption that it was beyond my reach. Growing up I heard about the trips to Florida my classmates took. I longed to audition for a traveling high school production of Godspell, but had to work, and couldn’t afford to take time off, let alone pay for a ticket to California. I felt left out. Moving to New York in the early 80’s, there were apartments...
Running Again
![Running Again Running Again](images/Life-SizedCourage/cache/images/Life-SizedCourage/blog/janetzinn_files_wordpress_com_2018_04/proportion/img_1337_w140_h140/img_1337_02090744.jpg)
I ran my first race in over a year. It was slow process, both recovering from benign injuries, as well as running 15-minute miles this morning. In the past months I went through acupuncture, medical massage and physical therapy putting Humpty Dumpty back together again. So, tentatively, step by step I took on Central Park’s Drive.
What I noticed right away was the throngs who passed me as I inched my way forward. I am no stranger to being left behind. In elementary school I often was picked last in kickball, more for my lack of popularity than for any inability to kick and catch the ball. In junior high school I was not asked to parties. I awkwardly went to school...
Free Shakespeare in the Park
![Free Shakespeare in the Park Free Shakespeare in the Park](images/Life-SizedCourage/cache/images/Life-SizedCourage/blog/janetzinn_files_wordpress_com_2017_07/proportion/unknown_11_w140_h140/unknown_11_02090743.jpeg)
On a sweltering Tuesday in August, in my first full summer as a New York City resident, I was nervous and excited about the prospect of obtaining free tickets to A Midsummer Night’s Dream at the Delacorte Theater in Central Park. The day in 1982 was hazy, and the great lawn was full of picnickers all with numbers for a place in line. I was number 26. I had gotten there so early, maybe 7 AM to ensure my audience participation. And, I was far from the first one in line. But with a coffee and an H&H bagel for breakfast, I felt well-prepared. Hour after hour of baking in the sun, I was a lucky recipient of two tickets...