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Angry Moments, Week Thirty in the New Abnormal
It’s a beautiful morning today. There is a light breeze, the sun is out but not scorching, and the sky is clear. The temperature dropped so it feels simply delightful. I left my apartment before 7:30 am so that I could get in a destination walk to and from Trader Joe’s to pick up a few groceries for the week. My plan was to be in and out before the Saturday rush. I was walking on the east side of the street, which is less sunny, thus cooler, in the mornings. When I approached 68th Street I was in back of someone else with a cart who had a similar plan at Trader Joe’s. She kept trying to get around a woman with her dog whose leash straddled the entire sidewalk. When I got close enough I said, “Excuse me, we want to pass you and your dog.” She didn’t move. I was less polite in my next attempt. “You’re taking up the whole sidewalk, can you move so we can pass?” “Fuck you” she said as she barely made room for us. As I made my way around her dog, I said “You don’t have to take the entire sidewalk.” My tone sounded as annoyed as I felt. Even though I had been happy to be out and about on a glorious day, I quickly turned into a grouch. Again, she repeated, “Fuck You!” This time louder so there would be no mistaking her ire. I didn’t look back, and I’m not proud to say that I then gave her the finger with my back to her. Only in retrospect could I think clearly and realize she’s not having a good morning. Did I need to add to that?
An Anniversary, Week Twenty-Seven in the No Longer New Abnormal
It’s something of an irony that my and my husband’s 27th wedding anniversary is on the 27th week of this year. I like coincidences like that. When the stars align, I feel good all over. Twenty-Seven years is probably the longest commitment to anything I’ve done in my life. I like variety, so in the past I could do something for a while and then I’d move on. I took a very different tactic for our marriage. While Larry is someone who likes routines and enjoys what he knows, I like to try new things, preferring to being adventurous rather than staying in place. Though we were a bit older than our contemporaries when we got married, I was 38 to Larry’s 45, we had a lot to learn about relationships, particularly long-term relationships.
Old Lady TikTok, Week Twenty-Four in the No Longer New Abnormal
Publishing Week, Week Twenty-Three in the No Longer New Abnormal
This Tuesday I become a published author with In the Time of Coronavirus, Reflecting on the Past to Embrace a Joyful Future. To that end I am doing everything I know to do to promote this book, working to get it into stores, sites and libraries and into readers’ hands. It is a daunting task. I am overwhelmed, yet very excited.
Holiday Weekend in Los Angeles
My First Reading, Week Twenty-One in the No Longer New Abnormal
I was nervous. I had agreed to participate in a Zoom panel which included reading from my pre-published book, In the Time of Coronavirus. but it’s been a long time since I’ve spoken to a group. As I was practicing, reading the blog post a few times, I noticed my voice sounded like it was stuck in my throat. I did not think that was a good thing.
Happy May, Week Nineteen in the No Longer New Abnormal
Letting Go, Week Eighteen in the No Longer New Abnormal
When I was younger and I upset someone, I would replay the incident over and over again. I found it intolerable that someone would be upset or angry with me. It felt devastating. I would apologize again and again, becoming a nuisance. Sometimes people would be more upset with my groveling than they were with the original upset. I couldn’t get it out of my mind. It felt like anything I did that hurt others was unforgivable. There was no fun to be had.
San Miguel, Week Seventeen in the No Longer New Abnormal
Having lived as long as I have, visiting friends and family sometimes means travel. Following our amazing time in Mexico City we took a drive to the Teotihuacán Pyramids, which were magnificent. It’s a pre-historic Mayan city. To walk in the same steps as those who resided there thousands of years ago is a powerful experience. From there we traveled on to San Miguel de Allende, a lovely small city with an artistic soul.
Chasing Cherry Blossoms, Week Fourteen in the No Longer New Abnormal
I made a trip to DC this weekend. I was going to visit family, see a musical, get to the National Portrait Gallery and enjoy the cherry blossoms. I was able to enjoy time with my family and see a most wonderful show at Arena Stage Theater. Bu it turns out the Cherry Blossoms were premature this year due to the warmer winter months. I thought I was early enough but that was not the case. I saw trees with waning petals, the best in Takoma Park, MD. But the city failed to provide me with the simple joy of full flowered trees wherever I went.
Take Care, Week Twelve in the No Longer New Abnormal
This past week I heard of the death of two people from my past. I heard from three people presently who are ill, and we are all hearing about too many in our world who are in pain, who are suffering, or who have experienced significant losses. Life is precious.
This is Not about Daylight Savings Time, Week Eleven of the No Longer New Abnormal
We can be shiny and perfect and admired, or we can be real and honest and vulnerable and loved. But we actually do have to choose. --Glennon Doyle Melton
I listen to Glennon’s podcast, “We Can Do Hard Things.” On one of her podcasts she said that she used to worry that no one was listening to her. Her audiences were small, her readership small. But then she started seeing and hearing the few who were listening. She realized that each person was important, not the number itself. It was so meaningful to hear that. I have taken it to heart.
Not Boring, Week Ten in the No Longer New Abnormal
As a psychotherapist I’ve noticed that so many people in and out of my office will say, “I know this is boring, but…” Traditionally therapists don’t respond, we only listen. I’m more interactive, so I respond to the statement that they think what they have to say is boring. I’m curious. I don’t find what they tell me boring. But I want to know how they see it themselves. The subject matter is secondary to their perceptions and experiences of living their lives. I am fascinated by that. Luckily my profession affords me to privilege of hearing their insights and opinions regarding their lives.
Salad Days, Week Nine in the No Longer New Abnormal
"Salad can get a bad rap. People think of bland and watery iceberg lettuce, but in fact, salads are an art form." - Marcus Samuelsson
I made miso dressing this past week. It turned out well. I tweaked the recipe so that it had a slight sweetness to balance the umami tones. Before that it was buttermilk dressing. Growing up we had a fresh salad every night. And my mother was a stickler for homemade dressing. She favored vinaigrettes when I got older, but before that we enjoyed homemade Russian dressing, Thousand Island Dressing, Italian, and Roquefort. There was a distinct difference between her dressings and the bottled versions of Wishbone and Kraft.
A Trip to the Garden, Week Eight in the No Longer New Abnormal
There’s nothing like a flower show in the middle of a cold winter to warm our souls. That was my thinking as I embarked on the member preview of the Orchid Show at the New York Botanical Garden in the Bronx. My plan was to get there early so I could get in and out and home for work. I walked in the chilly weather to the subway where I got on the number 5 subway to Bedford Avenue. However, it was the number 4 train that I needed, so I had to reroute, getting off at the Grand Concourse and then settling in for a 45-minute ride to the Garden via the Bx 19 bus. This was an hour detour in total, getting me to the Garden with the throngs of people who also wanted to enjoy the tropical flowers.
Parts of Ourselves, Week Seven in the No Longer New Abnormal
“Music expresses that which cannot be put into words and that which cannot remain silent”
Victor Hugo
Yesterday I was in sweats, my hair, stiff, frizzy, and dry while getting paperwork done in-between laundry loads. Nothing glamorous about the day. I was comfortable and perhaps a bit tired from a late night. The late night was very unexpected. I had a subscription to the New York Pops at Carnegie Hall. It has turned out to be a marvelous series. On Friday night I, along with a sold-out house, thoroughly enjoyed an evening of Gershwin music featuring the vocalist, Montego Glover and the pianist, Lee Musiker.
Terrific Show, Week Six in the No Longer New Abnormal
“Don’t wait for people to tell you who you are. Show them. “
Laura Benanti
I just came home from seeing Audible Theater’s production of Nobody Cares, written and performed by Laura Benanti. She is a singular talent. Before the show there were a bevy of celebrities in the audience including Patti Lupone, Sarah Bareiles, and Larry Owens. They came to enjoy an evening featuring their colleague and friend.
In Vogue, Week Three in the No Longer New Abnormal
“True empowerment comes from knowing and embracing your own worth.”
Beverly Johnson
I just saw the new one woman show, In Vogue, in which Beverly Johnson shares her life’s story with a backdrop of photos of her, the culture, and other iconic people, movements, and moments in history.
I Like Quotes, Week One of The No-Longer-New-Abnormal
“Just do what works for you, because there will always be someone who thinks differently.” Michelle Obama
I love quotes. When I first started my psychotherapy private practice in the mid-90s before there were iPhones and Facebook, I had an answering machine, and the recording included quotes on there. I changed them monthly or so, and it felt nice. But I was a new therapist and I wanted to do things right. It felt right to me. Nonetheless, I was told by a senior therapist, one who I respected, that I might want to rethink having something so personal on my outgoing message. The common practice was to be as neutral as possible. Her thinking was that a chosen quote could possibly be sharing unnecessary private information about me or, it might be misconceived.