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Letting Go, Week Eighteen in the No Longer New Abnormal

Letting Go, Week Eighteen in the No Longer New Abnormal
Apr 27, 2024 by Janet Zinn

When I was younger and I upset someone, I would replay the incident over and over again. I found it intolerable that someone would be upset or angry with me. It felt devastating. I would apologize again and again, becoming a nuisance. Sometimes people would be more upset with my groveling than they were with the original upset. I couldn’t get it out of my mind. It felt like anything I did that hurt others was unforgivable. There was no fun to be had.

San Miguel, Week Seventeen in the No Longer New Abnormal

San Miguel, Week Seventeen in the No Longer New Abnormal
Apr 21, 2024 by Janet Zinn

Having lived as long as I have, visiting friends and family sometimes means travel. Following our amazing time in Mexico City we took a drive to the Teotihuacán Pyramids, which were magnificent. It’s a pre-historic Mayan city. To walk in the same steps as those who resided there thousands of years ago is a powerful experience. From there we traveled on to San Miguel de Allende, a lovely small city with an artistic soul.

I Don't Wanna! Week Fifteen of the No Longer New Abnormal

I Don't Wanna! Week Fifteen of the No Longer New Abnormal
Apr 07, 2024 by Janet Zinn

“Almost everything will work if you unplug it for a few minutes….including you.”  -Anne Lamott-”  

There are some days that I just don’t want to do anything.  And if I have to do something it can feel particularly labored.  I woke up this morning with a strong case of I don’t wanna.  I was still tired, though I received eight hours of sleep.  I was achy even though I’m stretching more given the needs of being in my mid-60s.  I was able to get away last weekend, though it now feels like it was weeks ago.

Chasing Cherry Blossoms, Week Fourteen in the No Longer New Abnormal

Chasing Cherry Blossoms, Week Fourteen in the No Longer New Abnormal
Mar 31, 2024 by Janet Zinn

I made a trip to DC this weekend. I was going to visit family, see a musical, get to the National Portrait Gallery and enjoy the cherry blossoms. I was able to enjoy time with my family and see a most wonderful show at Arena Stage Theater. Bu it turns out the Cherry Blossoms were premature this year due to the warmer winter months. I thought I was early enough but that was not the case. I saw trees with waning petals, the best in Takoma Park, MD. But the city failed to provide me with the simple joy of full flowered trees wherever I went.

Take Care, Week Twelve in the No Longer New Abnormal

Take Care,  Week Twelve in the No Longer New Abnormal
Mar 17, 2024 by Janet Zinn

This past week I heard of the death of two people from my past. I heard from three people presently who are ill, and we are all hearing about too many in our world who are in pain, who are suffering, or who have experienced significant losses. Life is precious.

This is Not about Daylight Savings Time, Week Eleven of the No Longer New Abnormal

This is Not about Daylight Savings Time, Week Eleven of the No Longer New Abnormal
Mar 10, 2024 by Janet Zinn

We can be shiny and perfect and admired, or we can be real and honest and vulnerable and loved. But we actually do have to choose. --Glennon Doyle Melton

I listen to Glennon’s podcast, “We Can Do Hard Things.”  On one of her podcasts she said that she used to worry that no one was listening to her.  Her audiences were small, her readership small.  But then she started seeing and hearing the few who were listening.  She realized that each person was important, not the number itself.  It was so meaningful to hear that.  I have taken it to heart.

Not Boring, Week Ten in the No Longer New Abnormal

Not Boring, Week Ten in the No Longer New Abnormal
Mar 03, 2024 by Janet Zinn

As a psychotherapist I’ve noticed that so many people in and out of my office will say, “I know this is boring, but…” Traditionally therapists don’t respond, we only listen. I’m more interactive, so I respond to the statement that they think what they have to say is boring. I’m curious. I don’t find what they tell me boring. But I want to know how they see it themselves. The subject matter is secondary to their perceptions and experiences of living their lives. I am fascinated by that. Luckily my profession affords me to privilege of hearing their insights and opinions regarding their lives.

A Trip to the Garden, Week Eight in the No Longer New Abnormal

A Trip to the Garden, Week Eight in the No Longer New Abnormal
Feb 18, 2024 by Janet Zinn

There’s nothing like a flower show in the middle of a cold winter to warm our souls.  That was my thinking as I embarked on the member preview of the Orchid Show at the New York Botanical Garden in the Bronx.  My plan was to get there early so I could get in and out and home for work.  I walked in the chilly weather to the subway where I got on the number 5 subway to Bedford Avenue.  However, it was the number 4 train that I needed, so I had to reroute, getting off at the Grand Concourse and then settling in for a 45-minute ride to the Garden via the Bx 19 bus.  This was an hour detour in total, getting me to the Garden with the throngs of people who also wanted to enjoy the tropical flowers.  

 

Parts of Ourselves, Week Seven in the No Longer New Abnormal

Parts of Ourselves, Week Seven in the No Longer New Abnormal
Feb 11, 2024 by Janet Zinn

“Music expresses that which cannot be put into words and that which cannot remain silent”
Victor Hugo

Yesterday I was in sweats, my hair, stiff, frizzy, and dry while getting paperwork done in-between laundry loads.  Nothing glamorous about the day.  I was comfortable and perhaps a bit tired from a late night.  The late night was very unexpected.  I had a subscription to the New York Pops at Carnegie Hall.  It has turned out to be a marvelous series.  On Friday night I, along with a sold-out house, thoroughly enjoyed an evening of Gershwin music featuring the vocalist, Montego Glover and the pianist, Lee Musiker.  

Terrific Show, Week Six in the No Longer New Abnormal

Terrific Show, Week Six in the No Longer New Abnormal
Feb 03, 2024 by Janet Zinn

“Don’t wait for people to tell you who you are.  Show them. “ 

 

Laura Benanti

 

I just came home from seeing Audible Theater’s production of Nobody Cares, written and performed by Laura Benanti.  She is a singular talent.  Before the show there were a bevy of celebrities in the audience including Patti Lupone, Sarah Bareiles, and Larry Owens.  They came to enjoy an evening featuring their colleague and friend.  

In Vogue, Week Three in the No Longer New Abnormal

In Vogue, Week Three in the No Longer New Abnormal
Jan 14, 2024 by Janet Zinn

“True empowerment comes from knowing and embracing your own worth.”

Beverly Johnson

 

 

I just saw the new one woman show, In Vogue, in which Beverly Johnson shares her life’s story with a backdrop of photos of her, the culture, and other iconic people, movements, and moments in history.  

I Like Quotes, Week One of The No-Longer-New-Abnormal

I Like Quotes, Week One of The No-Longer-New-Abnormal
Jan 07, 2024 by Janet Zinn

“Just do what works for you, because there will always be someone who thinks differently.”  Michelle Obama

 

I love quotes.  When I first started my psychotherapy private practice in the mid-90s before there were iPhones and Facebook, I had an answering machine, and the recording included quotes on there.  I changed them monthly or so, and it felt nice.  But I was a new therapist and I wanted to do things right.  It felt right to me.  Nonetheless, I was told by a senior therapist, one who I respected, that I might want to rethink having something so personal on my outgoing message.  The common practice was to be as neutral as possible. Her thinking was that a chosen quote could possibly be sharing unnecessary private information about me or, it might be misconceived.  

Encouraging Compassion, The Fifty-Second Week of the Second Year in the New Abnormal

Encouraging Compassion, The Fifty-Second Week of the Second Year in the New Abnormal
Dec 31, 2023 by Janet Zinn
We are at the end of 2023 and yet life goes on with all its difficulties, complications, wonders, and joy.  As we change the calendar year perhaps there is a better way to move forward.  We traditionally make resolutions.  Maybe we call them something else, but so many of us want to better our lives and a new year can feel like a blank slate.  

Finding Peace, The Fifty-First Week of the Second Year in the New Abnormal

Finding Peace, The Fifty-First Week of the Second Year in the New Abnormal
Dec 24, 2023 by Janet Zinn

This week I’m sharing some past sunsets.  Seeing sunrises and sunsets makes me smile.  Sunsets remind me that nothing is permanent.  And sunrises are an apt metaphor that we always have a chance at a new beginning.  Both sentiments give me some peace.  And we could all use peace.

Forgiveness, The Fiftieth Week in the Second Year of the New Abnormal

Forgiveness, The Fiftieth Week in the Second Year of the New Abnormal
Dec 16, 2023 by Janet Zinn

As the year approaches its end, forgiveness is on my mind.  I find that forgiveness is a process, though I used to imagine it was a one and done affair.  I earnestly believed that I could forgive someone and then I’d be okay with them.  I found that not to be the case.  It was easier to forgive if the person made changes.  Meaning they either stopped the offending behavior, or they started acting in a way they had avoided prior. 

Ahhh, Naps, The Forty-Eighth Week in the Second Year of the New Abnormal

Ahhh, Naps, The Forty-Eighth Week in the Second Year of the New Abnormal
Dec 03, 2023 by Janet Zinn

Napping was my top priority this past week.  They were usually twenty to thirty minutes max.  They made a tremendous difference in my mood.  I was able to get through the week with a greater capacity for patience.  I had more room for the things that usually get under my skin, like loud car horns in grid lock, or the annoying overspill from packages protected with shredded paper or other messy stuffing. 

Spilled Coffee, The Forty-Seventh Week of the Second Year in the New Abnormal

Spilled Coffee, The Forty-Seventh Week of the Second Year in the New Abnormal
Nov 25, 2023 by Janet Zinn

I spilled my coffee earlier this week.  And I then let out a loud string of expletives to vocalize my frustration.  I cleaned up the mess and then rushed to work.  Not the way I had wanted to start my day.  My reaction, though provoked,  made it clear that I need some down time.  It may not be the vacation that I’ve fantasized, but even an evening in, or a task free afternoon will do at this point.  

Nature Speaks, The Forty-Sixth Week of the Second Year in the New Abnormal

Nature Speaks, The Forty-Sixth Week of the Second Year in the New Abnormal
Nov 18, 2023 by Janet Zinn

Autumn colors fire up Central Park.  I had the good fortune of walking through the park on several occasions this past week.  I was reminded that this season represents the last of the foliage as the trees and plants prepare for the winter.  Following winter comes a renewal as Spring brings greenery and flowers to enjoy.  Just seeing the colorful trees brought hope. 

Daylight Savings Time, The Forty-Fourth Week of the Second Year in the New Abnormal

Daylight Savings Time, The Forty-Fourth Week of the Second Year in the New Abnormal
Nov 05, 2023 by Janet Zinn

I voted early yesterday.  I like my councilwoman and I wanted to keep her in office.  What I don’t get to vote for is the abolishment of daylight savings time.  We turned the clocks back last night, and ostensibly we got an extra hour of sleep.  Then in April we “spring” ahead losing that hour.  I say, no thank you.  

Happy Halloween, The Forty-Third Week of the Second Year in the New Abnormal

Happy Halloween, The Forty-Third Week of the Second Year in the New Abnormal
Oct 28, 2023 by Janet Zinn

Some weeks are harder than others.  Having heard from a number of people this past week was just such a week.  I can certainly include myself in that mix.  For that reason, I am going to don a virtual mask, making this a quick post, while wishing you all a Happy Halloween.  Here are some city pics of the season. 

 

Self-Care Tips:

 

  • Give yourself a break.  If things are hard, find ways to let go of the normal routines to provide the energy needed for whatever is essential.
  • Dark humor that does not hurt anyone can even help in hard times.  
  • If you celebrate, enjoy Halloween.  If you don’t celebrate, lean into JOMO, the joy of missing out.