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So Long 2020, Week 42 in the Time of Coronavirus
Dec 27, 2020 by Janet Zinn
Before the end of this week we will welcome in a new year. Never will there have been a greater collective sigh throughout the globe than at the rotating midnight hour of 1/1/2021. We all faced many challenges throughout the year. And we all learned essential truths about ourselves. I learned that doing less was a relief. I learned that patience is not an end point, but an ongoing process. I learned to use my crankier tendences as a reflection on what vulnerabilities I am attempting to protect. I learned that I still have a lot to learn in asking for help. Plus, I learned that 2020 gave us endless opportunities to learn. I also learned that even with the possibility of learning, sometimes learning to relax was the...
Finding Joy, Week 39 in the Time of Coronavirus
Dec 06, 2020 by Janet Zinn
I found joy on a rainy day. Usually when it rains in this pandemic, I’ve been apt to wane in energy. But when it was pouring outside this past week, I turned on an old dance playlist that Larry had previously made for me. It includes disco, Klezmer music, Irish folk music, jazz and so much more. I was in heaven. It’s been so long since I’ve moved with utter abandon. There I was in my office, all alone, dancing for a good hour to song after song, gyrating and laughing. The power of music and movement is transformative.
I was slow to get out of bed as I felt the cool air while listening to the patter of the raindrops. Coffee helped but it wasn’t the power elixir...
The Desire for Instant Gratification, Week 38 in the Time of Coronavirus
Nov 29, 2020 by Janet Zinn
We made it through a very different Thanksgiving. Then on black Friday I received so many emails advertising the “best” sales of the year. I was intrigued. I opened up small business and non-profit websites. I purchased a few things that I unquestionably don’t need. Now after the sale I’m not even certain if they’ll make good gifts. What I do know is that there was something compelling about the immediate gratification at a time when so little is happening. For a few brief hours I’d take breaks to peruse websites while making a couple of impulsive purchases. Call it clearance therapy.
It felt like a small liberation to acquire a few seemingly needless items. The bargains were incredible. And it felt strange to engage in such a frivolous action. I understand...
Thanksgiving, Gratitude & Disappointment, Week 37 in the Time of Coronavirus
Nov 22, 2020 by Janet Zinn
There’s no doubt that this is a Thanksgiving like no other. Many will spend Thanksgiving, if it is being spent at all, without loved ones. In a large number of cases, it will be the first holiday without someone because they died, either of Covid-19 or from other causes. It’s hard to feel thankful for these facts. We can embody gratitude for what we’ve had in the past. Or we may feel grateful for not having to be social when we’re not up to seeing anyone. However, that’s a far cry from the delight of festivities of past years.
Gratitude and its cousin, appreciation, can feel like a burden in times of fear, sadness and loss. I am all for gratitude journals, and gratitude as a tenet of...
Time, Boredom & Patience, Week 36 in the Time of Coronavirus
Nov 15, 2020 by Janet Zinn
I woke up early this morning. My plan was to sleep in. But we all know what happens to plans in this time of the coronavirus. I took advantage of the early hour to run to Central Park to slowly jog in the park. There are parts of my body that demand the slow pace. While runners and walkers passed me by, I chose patience for my leisurely stride. I admit there were moments I compared myself to other grey-haired runners who were twice as fast. Then I went back to kind self-talk as I slowly but surely went around the Park Drive and other paths.
The park looks beautiful. Though drawn out, my run was anything but boring. Yet, for many of us boredom has set in during the...
Light Coming Through the Darkness; Week 35 in the Time of Coronavirus.
Nov 08, 2020 by Janet Zinn
I hadn’t realized how stressed I’d been these last 4 years until the presidential election results came in. My shoulders almost immediately released the tension I’d been holding. I felt lighter. Hopeful. The heavy months since the coronavirus were revealed changed our world even further adding to my stress. Mostly, I felt as if I was on the defensive, cautious when outside, exhausted at home. In talking to so many other like-minded friends and family I heard they, too, felt a collective sigh of relief Saturday.
I have no doubt that those who supported the president’s re-election do not share our jubilation. They wanted something else. But I cannot endure more divisiveness. I don’t want to live defensively anymore. I’m hopeful we can come together to create a change that is...
Voting Anxiety; Week 34 in the Time of Coronavirus
Nov 05, 2020 by Janet Zinn
Although Election Day has passed, it still can be applied to this uncertain time.
The stress of this election during the pandemic seems to have expanded as we move closer to Election Day. The conflicting commercials incite doubt and fear. The news is alarmist. And we’re taking it all in. It felt empowering to vote, but it didn’t last long.
We ‘re living in a divisive environment. Many friendships have ended solely based on political preference. Families are divided over presidential partiality. Now that we’re in the time of coronavirus we get even more agitated when someone claims that they’re voting for the opposition.
It’s challenging to feel at peace now. With any luck I feel it first thing in the morning and last thing at night between the time I...
The stress of this election during the pandemic seems to have expanded as we move closer to Election Day. The conflicting commercials incite doubt and fear. The news is alarmist. And we’re taking it all in. It felt empowering to vote, but it didn’t last long.
We ‘re living in a divisive environment. Many friendships have ended solely based on political preference. Families are divided over presidential partiality. Now that we’re in the time of coronavirus we get even more agitated when someone claims that they’re voting for the opposition.
It’s challenging to feel at peace now. With any luck I feel it first thing in the morning and last thing at night between the time I...
Dropping, Spilling & Breaking; Week 33 in the Time of Coronavirus
Oct 25, 2020 by Janet Zinn
Today while making chili, beans spread out in the sink while I was draining them. Usually I’m not so lucky to have a contained spatter. Just two weeks ago glass shattered in all directions. I put on my shoes and cleaned up the shards that extended into two rooms. I’ve certainly seen an uptick in drops, breakage and absent-mindedness. It seems to have increased in these last few weeks. Yes, I can be clumsy, but I usually don’t have to clean up a spill every day. Well, I can’t say that anymore.
The amount of energy it takes to get through our days when we’ve been limited to external outlets is trying. There’s bound to be some fallout. For me one...
I Was Wrong; Week 32 in the Time of Coronavirus
Oct 18, 2020 by Janet Zinn
Last week I made acorn squash with essence of orange and maple syrup. I asked Larry to bring a spoon, as I thought that might be easier than a fork. He proudly came back with a grapefruit spoon. Silently I was annoyed. Didn’t I just ask him for a spoon? A regular spoon? I begrudgingly took it from him. I was tired and rather than open up with vulnerability, I found myself closing down with negativity. When I tried the spoon, which has unobtrusive serrating, it turned out to be an excellent choice for the squash. Larry likes to find the perfect tool for the job, and I was wrong to not trust him. In the past I wouldn’t have even tried the utensil. I would have marched into the...
Who Cares About Rewards? Week 31 in the Time of Coronavirus
Oct 11, 2020 by Janet Zinn
I keep receiving emails warning me that my hotel or travel awards are going to expire. Or, I’m enticed to go out to eat to get points and rewards. I simply don’t care. In the past I played the game and accrued points and rewards. I was happy to join one program or another to earn gift certificates for shopping, extra discounts, free meals or nights at hotels. None of this is of interest now. The notices remind me that I have been an avid consumer, through and through.
Once in a while I was able to enjoy a free meal or a room upgrade. Or, I planned a trip in which I used miles. Mostly, though, I found myself happy to have the points or rewards, while having...
Autumn is Here: Week 30 in the Time of Coronavirus
Oct 04, 2020 by Janet Zinn
This Autumn is like no other. And, given that fact, we will go through it differently than in the past. For most of us, it feels quite disorienting. We like to be able to count on what we’ve known to be true.
For so many of us the Fall is when we start anew. We count on the school year, even years after we’ve attended school, to pace ourselves. I feel like I have to create a new pace for living through a pandemic. No one I know counted on it lasting this long. We made mental deals with ourselves to get through the first three months. And, as we enter our eighth month, we are bedraggled. At least I am.
Last week my walks were slower, my runs shorter. I just...
Weeds in Context; Week 29 in the Time of Coronavirus
Sep 27, 2020 by Janet Zinn
As a young girl, how I loved to blow the puff of a dandelion while I made a wish. And the bright yellow flowers were so nice sprinkled about the lawn when I was growing up. I remember being told I shouldn’t like dandelions because they were weeds. And, though I secretly enjoyed the seed carrying wisps and the bright yellow blooms, I did not share this with lawn lovers in my neighborhood.
But in a pandemic, in a concrete jungle, flowers of any kind can brighten my walks. So, as I was spending a work break by walking on the East River esplanade, I smiled when I came across some dandelions. I have a deep appreciation for dandelions in this pandemic. Seeing them is a bright...
When it's Difficult, Week 28 in the Time of Coronavirus
Sep 20, 2020 by Janet Zinn
I won’t lie, this past week was tough. I don’t know whether the change in temperature reminded me of a mostly lost summer, or whether the continued stress of clients related to the NYC educational failings had me struggling after each day. I came home unready to relate to my small family except by means that pushed them away. Not good for any of us. And, then Friday night, as we were hopeful in celebrating the Jewish New Year, we heard the sad news of RBG’s death. Like with so many, it feels like a personal loss.
As I have learned in the process of past bereavement, there are physical manifestations of loss. Saturday I felt achy, with shallow breaths. It is not Covid-19. But it is similar...
Outdoor Musings; Week 27 in the Time of Coronavirus
Sep 13, 2020 by Janet Zinn
It’s such an odd experience to go for a walk and find myself, again and again, a focus of various restaurant patrons on the streets of New York. I realize they’ve been starved of social interactions. And, people watching has taken on a new importance. Pedestrians have become the dinner entertainment for the open tables’ clientele. So if I walk uptown or downtown on the avenues, I become a subject for diners’ eyes. Conversely, I look to see how to walk around so I’m not too close while they’re eating their meals mask free.
It may be that I provide much needed amusement with my firecracker ponytail, my loose tee-shirts and touristy fanny pack. I don’t care. I’m at an age where I believe other people’s opinion of...
Masked Strangers; Week 26 in the Time of Coronavirus
Sep 06, 2020 by Janet Zinn
I’m not being rude, I just don’t know who you are. Though it seems ill-mannered, I rarely recognize anyone I see. While walking about, I hear my name but have no idea who is summoning me. Even after you tell me how we know each other, I have difficulty placing you. Thus is the dilemma of mask wearing.
Sometimes I recognize the voice. Yesterday my name was called behind me. And, though I couldn’t pinpoint who she was, ultimately her voice gave her away. She’s our upstairs neighbor for about eighteen years. It’s as if I have face blindness, a malady made well-known by the late, great Oliver Sacks.
I used to recognize everyone, even those who had no clue who I was. I’m not great with names, but I remember...
Managing Expectations; Week 25 in the Time of Coronavirus
Aug 30, 2020 by Janet Zinn
I have to admit, I usually get disappointed on my birthday. I make lofty plans and then things don’t go as planned and it saddens me. Not this year. My birthday was this past week. The days leading up to my birthday were terrific. I got good news from a friend. Larry and Alex cooked beautiful meals. I was able to take a scenic bike ride on Randall’s Island. Since it was humid the weather kept people indoors. And, because I rode close to the river there were breezes coming and going. I found work inspiring. And, I had little planned for my birthday. I was not anxious that my plans needed to turn out. I took care of myself, as best I could, miscommunicating at times, or forgetting commitments I made. But...
Inner Resources; Week 24 in the Time of Coronavirus
Aug 23, 2020 by Janet Zinn
Monday I arrived home from a week in the country. It’s great to be home in my familiar surroundings, working from my office. And, now that I’m home, I happily go to my closet for my clothes rather than reaching into a suitcase. The pastoral setting on vacation was restorative. Yet the familiarity of our apartment and the city is comforting in its own way.
Ever since we began to feel the impact of the Coronavirus by social distancing, public spaces closing, or our everyday lives being turned upside down, we’ve had to confront so many losses, and cull our resilience to get through our days. While we used to have so much to look forward to on our time off, we’ve hunkered...
Make Plans and the Universe Laughs, Week 23 in the Time of Coronavirus
Aug 16, 2020 by Janet Zinn
I put a lot of stock into getting away. I was sure I needed a vacation, time away from work and the city to regroup. We drove for a few hours until we found our rental home in the heart of the Western Catskills. It is breathtaking here. Having space to simply be has been a relief. Yet, I brought some old baggage with me. I’m not talking luggage here, I’m speaking of my long-term dysfunctional beliefs and habits.
It took no time at all to enjoy the view from the front porch. The mountains and the greenery are simply verdant. The home has a winter-lodge feel to it, and it was nice to be in a place with high ceilings, lofts, and space. I was off-line and on vacation. A...
Boredom, Week 21 in the Time of Coronavirus
Aug 03, 2020 by Janet Zinn
It felt so nice to find expanded trails on Randall’s Island yesterday. The monotony of life during the Coronavirus can be stifling. Though I walk daily, finding fresh paths and unseen sights has been challenging. And, to find them in places that are free from others is nearly impossible in the city. But I persevere as if it’s a made-up game to challenge the norm.
I’m coming up with a lot of private games. Can I meditate and let my thoughts pass by or will I go on a tangent and then find myself caught between my imagination and the present moment? Will I be able to find an isolated spot in the city and take a deep breath without my...
I’m coming up with a lot of private games. Can I meditate and let my thoughts pass by or will I go on a tangent and then find myself caught between my imagination and the present moment? Will I be able to find an isolated spot in the city and take a deep breath without my...
The Frustration Budget, Week 20 in the Time of Coronavirus
Jul 26, 2020 by Janet Zinn
The light breeze in the high heat and humidity of this New York summer is a simple pleasure these days. When I amble along on the sweltering sidewalks I can feel the gentle air waves stroke my head and shoulders lifting me up from the heaviness of the muggy day. It’s a simple joy to feel the wind when it comes. It eases the countless frustrations that have set upon us during this time of the Coronavirus. Given how easily I can be set off these days, I have come up with a made-up system. I have begun to enact a frustration budget. Living through a pandemic can wreak havoc with our nervous systems. So, I am going to assess what is a livable measure of frustration,...
