Blog
When it's Difficult, Week 28 in the Time of Coronavirus
Sep 20, 2020 by Janet Zinn
I won’t lie, this past week was tough. I don’t know whether the change in temperature reminded me of a mostly lost summer, or whether the continued stress of clients related to the NYC educational failings had me struggling after each day. I came home unready to relate to my small family except by means that pushed them away. Not good for any of us. And, then Friday night, as we were hopeful in celebrating the Jewish New Year, we heard the sad news of RBG’s death. Like with so many, it feels like a personal loss.
As I have learned in the process of past bereavement, there are physical manifestations of loss. Saturday I felt achy, with shallow breaths. It is not Covid-19. But it is similar...
Outdoor Musings; Week 27 in the Time of Coronavirus
Sep 13, 2020 by Janet Zinn
It’s such an odd experience to go for a walk and find myself, again and again, a focus of various restaurant patrons on the streets of New York. I realize they’ve been starved of social interactions. And, people watching has taken on a new importance. Pedestrians have become the dinner entertainment for the open tables’ clientele. So if I walk uptown or downtown on the avenues, I become a subject for diners’ eyes. Conversely, I look to see how to walk around so I’m not too close while they’re eating their meals mask free.
It may be that I provide much needed amusement with my firecracker ponytail, my loose tee-shirts and touristy fanny pack. I don’t care. I’m at an age where I believe other people’s opinion of...
Masked Strangers; Week 26 in the Time of Coronavirus
Sep 06, 2020 by Janet Zinn
I’m not being rude, I just don’t know who you are. Though it seems ill-mannered, I rarely recognize anyone I see. While walking about, I hear my name but have no idea who is summoning me. Even after you tell me how we know each other, I have difficulty placing you. Thus is the dilemma of mask wearing.
Sometimes I recognize the voice. Yesterday my name was called behind me. And, though I couldn’t pinpoint who she was, ultimately her voice gave her away. She’s our upstairs neighbor for about eighteen years. It’s as if I have face blindness, a malady made well-known by the late, great Oliver Sacks.
I used to recognize everyone, even those who had no clue who I was. I’m not great with names, but I remember...
Managing Expectations; Week 25 in the Time of Coronavirus
Aug 30, 2020 by Janet Zinn
I have to admit, I usually get disappointed on my birthday. I make lofty plans and then things don’t go as planned and it saddens me. Not this year. My birthday was this past week. The days leading up to my birthday were terrific. I got good news from a friend. Larry and Alex cooked beautiful meals. I was able to take a scenic bike ride on Randall’s Island. Since it was humid the weather kept people indoors. And, because I rode close to the river there were breezes coming and going. I found work inspiring. And, I had little planned for my birthday. I was not anxious that my plans needed to turn out. I took care of myself, as best I could, miscommunicating at times, or forgetting commitments I made. But...
Inner Resources; Week 24 in the Time of Coronavirus
Aug 23, 2020 by Janet Zinn
Monday I arrived home from a week in the country. It’s great to be home in my familiar surroundings, working from my office. And, now that I’m home, I happily go to my closet for my clothes rather than reaching into a suitcase. The pastoral setting on vacation was restorative. Yet the familiarity of our apartment and the city is comforting in its own way.
Ever since we began to feel the impact of the Coronavirus by social distancing, public spaces closing, or our everyday lives being turned upside down, we’ve had to confront so many losses, and cull our resilience to get through our days. While we used to have so much to look forward to on our time off, we’ve hunkered...
Make Plans and the Universe Laughs, Week 23 in the Time of Coronavirus
Aug 16, 2020 by Janet Zinn
I put a lot of stock into getting away. I was sure I needed a vacation, time away from work and the city to regroup. We drove for a few hours until we found our rental home in the heart of the Western Catskills. It is breathtaking here. Having space to simply be has been a relief. Yet, I brought some old baggage with me. I’m not talking luggage here, I’m speaking of my long-term dysfunctional beliefs and habits.
It took no time at all to enjoy the view from the front porch. The mountains and the greenery are simply verdant. The home has a winter-lodge feel to it, and it was nice to be in a place with high ceilings, lofts, and space. I was off-line and on vacation. A...
Stressing About Stress, Week 22 in the Time of Coronavirus
Aug 10, 2020 by Janet Zinn
Oh Boy, another opportunity to stress. We are going away to unload stress from city living, and yet here I am stressing about going away. I’ve gotten used to the steady hum of anxiety just below the surface. I have yet to speak to anyone during the pandemic that hasn’t acknowledged added stress. These feelings manifest themselves in many forms. For me, I have a hard time focusing, going from one task to another without completing any of them until I’ve come back around twice.
For the first time in years we will be at a place where there is no WiFi or cell service. To that end I set a deadline for myself to complete this post before we left. ...
For the first time in years we will be at a place where there is no WiFi or cell service. To that end I set a deadline for myself to complete this post before we left. ...
Boredom, Week 21 in the Time of Coronavirus
Aug 03, 2020 by Janet Zinn
It felt so nice to find expanded trails on Randall’s Island yesterday. The monotony of life during the Coronavirus can be stifling. Though I walk daily, finding fresh paths and unseen sights has been challenging. And, to find them in places that are free from others is nearly impossible in the city. But I persevere as if it’s a made-up game to challenge the norm.
I’m coming up with a lot of private games. Can I meditate and let my thoughts pass by or will I go on a tangent and then find myself caught between my imagination and the present moment? Will I be able to find an isolated spot in the city and take a deep breath without my...
I’m coming up with a lot of private games. Can I meditate and let my thoughts pass by or will I go on a tangent and then find myself caught between my imagination and the present moment? Will I be able to find an isolated spot in the city and take a deep breath without my...
The Frustration Budget, Week 20 in the Time of Coronavirus
Jul 26, 2020 by Janet Zinn
The light breeze in the high heat and humidity of this New York summer is a simple pleasure these days. When I amble along on the sweltering sidewalks I can feel the gentle air waves stroke my head and shoulders lifting me up from the heaviness of the muggy day. It’s a simple joy to feel the wind when it comes. It eases the countless frustrations that have set upon us during this time of the Coronavirus. Given how easily I can be set off these days, I have come up with a made-up system. I have begun to enact a frustration budget. Living through a pandemic can wreak havoc with our nervous systems. So, I am going to assess what is a livable measure of frustration,...
Gifts from Strangers, Week 19 in the Time of Coronavirus
Jul 19, 2020 by Janet Zinn
I hadn’t anticipated it, but yesterday was an enriching day. It started out hot and humid, and I knew that if I was going to get out, I wasn’t going to be able to move at a clipped pace. I was wary of taking my bike out, believing that the park would be crowded, and I just needed something less populated. So, I ventured out on foot listening to a new book Speak No Evil by Uzodinma Iweala, a Nigerian-American author. It’s beautifully written and the readers are terrific.
My destination was a Cambodian restaurant, the only one in the city. I had read about it but had never visited. I saw that it was closing at the end of the month, and so used it as a...
Being Okay Not Being Okay, Week 18 Blog Post in the Time of Coronavirus
Jul 13, 2020 by Janet Zinn
I am in awe at the speed and dominance my emotions morph during the time of Coronavirus. I am moved to tears by the humanity I witness or hear about. Moments later I am immersed in fury for a perceived injustice. I am in love with my child and husband for their simple kindnesses, and then I am agitated when I turn the corner to see that some arbitrary chore or other wasn’t accomplished. My pettiness is astounding. My gratitude short-lived.
As an observer I find this fascinating. As the subject I find it disconcerting. More and more I’m hearing similar stories of unwielded emotional lability. By the week’s end I am exhausted. Too tired to be social or active. So I am resting more and more. I have found resting...
On my Bike, Week 17 in the Time of Coronavirus
Jul 06, 2020 by Janet Zinn
Each one of us have been impacted by the Coronavirus in a personal way. Some have been ill. Many have been in quarantine. Too many have lost their jobs and income, some of our loved ones have died. And, the weight of the pandemic continues. Friends have been divided based on the level of protection we have chosen. Plans have been cancelled. Supply chains are interrupted. And we have all made appropriate adjustments centered on what is right for us under these circumstances.
I am riding my bicycle more than I have in past years. I like it because once I pass the trafficked streets it’s easy to ride the slow lane in the park. And, as with every activity, I wear my mask, wishing everyone would wear there’s...
Week 15 in the Time of Coronavirus; Diminished Choices
Jun 28, 2020 by Janet Zinn
Summer is here. But it’s not like summers of our past. Vacation options are restricted. Outdoor dining is limited. And sometimes the choices at hand are not terrific. So, what to do? If I can’t make long-term plans, I can think of what may or may not take place on any given day.
Take this morning, for instance. My plan was to walk to Central Park, take a slow run in the shadiest, least crowded spots, then come home to write this blog post. I tried writing yesterday, but I hit a wall in all things productive, and rested more than anything else.
So, earlier today I left later than planned, walked to the park noticing the bustle of Stage 2 of our city opening. I was in turns...
Week 16 in the Time of Coronavirus; Attending to the Mundane
Jun 28, 2020 by Janet Zinn
While social distancing, and quarantining when necessary, I have experienced, as we all have, moments in which we are faced with small but necessary tasks. Cleaning for me is one of those responsibilities that feels great when it’s done, yet I procrastinate getting it done. This weekend I had to defrost my small office freezer. It’s not so difficult as it is annoying. And, even on the annoying scale it’s pretty low, especially when we have to deal with so many annoyances while going through this Covid-19 period. Nonetheless, when the ice trays can’t be removed, and my Tito’s bottle is stuck, both from neglect, as well as frost accumulation, it’s time to take on the mini fridge.
The nice part about it is that I...
When Will This End? Coronavirus Blog 5
Apr 13, 2020 by Janet Zinn
We’ve hunkered down and we’ve stayed the course. We’re tired, we’re unfocused, we’re cranky, and we’re over it. Yet, caring for ourselves and making sure we’re all well is not a one-time deal. I hate that. In all things I prefer to go after something, get it done, appreciate what I’ve accomplished and then, Bam, I can go on to the next thing. Take cleaning. It’s been a great distraction to clean. My office is sparkling. My closets are in order. Yet when I was dressing this morning, I saw that things were not exactly the way they were when I refolded and cleared out my drawers on Friday. And when I got to my office today, I could see...
I Went All the Way
Aug 18, 2019 by Janet Zinn
Sometimes something so simple can be hard. I had the idea of riding my bike on the last Summer Streets on Park Avenue down to the Brooklyn Bridge. I keep my bike in my office. It’s a short folding bike, allowing for both my feet to touch the ground when I stop. It’s in my office so I can get out when the impulse strikes. It rarely strikes. I call myself a wimpy rider since I want to easily touch the ground, and I am not skilled enough to weave in and out of traffic. I will only face the streets to get into Central Park or ride on the East River promenade to Randall’s Island where there are few...
Virtually a Relationship
Jun 26, 2019 by Janet Zinn
Sometimes, as a therapist, it’s hard to leave my work brain at home. While minding my own business, or so I thought, at a local restaurant, I came to observe a young professional sitting at the next table. He was with his colleague. They were engaged in a heated discussion about the merits of outsourcing versus in-house accounting support. Not a conversation that was of any interest to me. At one point, the late-20-something guy next to me, a fit man with dark hair and a trim mustache, and a tailored blue shirt sans jacket, took out his phone and commanded Siri to find a study that supports the cost effectiveness of outsourcing. He had been speaking to his younger colleague,...
My Super Power — janetzinn
Jun 05, 2019 by Janet Zinn
When I was in the fifth grade I had a recurrent dream that I could fly. I was elated that I could soar past the bullies and the teasers. I loved that they had to look up to me in my dream. I soared in the air down Haral Place past the mailbox on […]
via My Super Power — janetzinn
My Super Power
Jun 03, 2019 by Janet Zinn
When I was in the fifth grade I had a recurrent dream that I could fly. I was elated that I could soar past the bullies and the teasers. I loved that they had to look up to me in my dream. I soared in the air down Haral Place past the mailbox on my way to Stafford School. I held onto that dream. It gave me a sense of being special when I felt anything but special.
But the teasing got worse in junior high. Patty Craven howled at me as if I were a dog. She bribed a classmate to ask me out so they could laugh at me. She was cruel, but I took it. I found small...
Love Affair
Feb 04, 2019 by Janet Zinn
Love Affair
I have courted a lover from an early age. The depth of this love only grows with time. There is so much to love. And, daily opportunities abound to enjoy all my lover has to offer. New York City is my first and true love. When I return from a trip, I gasp internally each and every time I see the city skyline, affirming my devotion. (Image from online stock)
I have given up a lot, though it feels like a fair trade-off. I live in a small apartment, one in which our family of three regularly negotiates for space. But our rent is reasonable, for the city, due in large part to rent stabilization laws. This detail allows me to see...
I have courted a lover from an early age. The depth of this love only grows with time. There is so much to love. And, daily opportunities abound to enjoy all my lover has to offer. New York City is my first and true love. When I return from a trip, I gasp internally each and every time I see the city skyline, affirming my devotion. (Image from online stock)
I have given up a lot, though it feels like a fair trade-off. I live in a small apartment, one in which our family of three regularly negotiates for space. But our rent is reasonable, for the city, due in large part to rent stabilization laws. This detail allows me to see...
