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cruel teachers
It's A Lot of Work to Find Ease, Week Forty-Three in the No Longer new Abnormal
In the USA we have a national and local election coming up and the stress related to that is palpable in most communities. There is division and animosity. Strong feelings are being played out in arguments, and in non-political spaces. Road rage, short tempers and dismissiveness abound. To offset that we have to make intentional choices. Can we find lightness in all of this infuriation? I’m working on it. But it’s not easy. Meditation works. It’s not an instant fix, but the more I spend time focusing on the present the more I can stay in all the other present moments, and not get caught up in election anxiety. Patience helps. If I can understand that my expectation that things should go a certain way are in conflict with the reality at hand, I can calm myself down.
Encouraging Compassion, The Fifty-Second Week of the Second Year in the New Abnormal
Those Who Inspire Us, The Forty-Second Week in the Second Year of the New Abnormal
’ve been watching Dear… on Apple TV. I found it by accident. While looking for another program a small square with Selena Gomez’s image caught my eye. I clicked on her framed face and came upon Dear… I watched the 30-minute segment and was immediately hooked. The series features individuals in the public eye, some athletes, actors, writers, or activists, as they engage with letters of those who have been inspired by them The featured famous person’s influence has helped to change the letter writers’ lives.
Saying Nothing, The Thirty-Ninth Week in the Second Year of the New Abnormal
“If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all.” That was a common idiom of our mother’s lexicon. She lived true to that statement. Even when she attempted to comment on something she disapproved of, she did her best to soften it. As a teen, I often was asked the question, “Janet, do you think that’s the most complementary outfit?“ Or it could have been make-up, pants, hair style or any other appearance-related observation. As a sensitive teen I was crushed no matter how much she tried to say it diplomatically.
Hurt by Half, The Thirty-Sixth Week of the Second Year in the New Abnormal
I was ten years old. The person who I had considered my best friend was in the Stafford School auditorium with her class, and I was with my class for a school-wide assembly. Assemblies felt important. Usually the principal spoke. He was a tall, somber man who communicated in hushed tones lending an atmosphere of solemnity to childhood gatherings.
Bickering, The Twenty-Seventh Week of the Second Year in the New Abnormal
My son told me last weekend that he hoped he won’t have disagreements in his relationships like I have with my husband when he’s older. It was interesting to hear, and as far as I understand he believes that with the amount of therapy, mindfulness practice, as well as the fact that I am a psychotherapist, I should be further along in my personal development, especially when it comes to my marriage. There was a time I would have agreed. I would have seen my defensiveness when my feelings are hurt, and that my feelings get hurt at all, as a fault in my character.
Fathers Day, The Twenty-Fourth Week of the Second Year in the New Abnormal
Happy Father’s Day. When I say that it conjures up so much for me and for so many others, I expect you included. Many of us have had varied relationships with our fathers nothing like Father Knows Best, The Courtship of Eddie’s Father, Blackish, or even Home Improvement. If only we could tune in for 30 minutes a week and enjoy the comical moments that focus on the highlights of the best parts of them, with a little silly thrown in.
On Repeat, Week Sixteen in the New Abnormal
A Six-Year Old State of Mind
I would laugh uncontrollably with Robin Reed, a beautiful, tall girl with large green eyes. We would just look at each other and start laughing. However, my laugh, for reasons unknown to me would set off the teacher. And, I alone would have to sit in the corner, having been shamed...