May 31, 2013 by Janet Zinn, in Uncategorized
I received a message last week that a client wouldn't make it to her psychotherapy session since she was sick. I felt as if she was lying. She had a lot going on, probably felt overwhelmed but couldn't say that. Being sick seems like a more legitimate excuse. I get a lot of lies in my line of work. You'd think that people want to bear their souls, tell the truths they can't tell others. And, that happens often, but there are always lies hidden amid the truths. I am not offended that they fib. Why should I be? If they lie in their lives they'll lie to me. My job is to find out why its so hard for them to tell me the truth. What are they afraid will happen if they could live their lives honestly? With the "sick" client, we could discuss this. She could feel the embarrassment beneath her cheeks, as she confessed to the lie. She had not been sick, but, as I suspected, felt she couldn't get everything done last week. She didn't get everything done, and ,she was upset with herself now, on top of that. I was not upset, and this surprised her. She lives in the defensive. It's uncomfortable when there is nothing to defend. She may have to lie a few more times while she comes to see me, and that's just how it will be. I will rely on her feelings in the therapy sessions, rather than the truth of her words.