Choices, Week Thirty-Four in the No Longer New Abnormal
When thinking about what to write this week I went through several topics. I thought of feeling refreshed from being away, but thought it sounded elitist. I was thinking about writing on simplifying my life, but at this point it’s an idea rather than something I’m practicing presently. Then I thought of speaking about how happy I am to work after being away, but it didn’t feel like it was going anywhere. So I’ve settled on a short piece about making choices. Some choices, like what to write this week, are low stakes. Some choices, like how to support a loved one suffering, are harder to assess. No matter our choices, most of us will second guess ourselves. We believe there’s a right or perfect option. Usually that’s not the case. We choose as best we can given where we are in our lives and the circumstances surrounding the choices.
When I was younger I preferred others to make decisions. I was too uncomfortable to be responsible for anyone not liking a choice I made. I learned to repress my own disappointment when others made choices that weren’t my preference since I wasn’t going to take the ball into my own hands and run with it. it’s taken many years and many “failed” attempts to learn that I have a say in how I live my life. There’s a peace that comes from choosing what is right for me in the here and now. Even if I have to clean up a mess that I hadn’t anticipated, I become more conscious as time goes on.
What if we thought of our choices as life lessons? We learn from what we choose. Sometimes it means we learn to trust our instincts when we have a gut feeling but are swayed by others’ ideas of practical solutions. Sometimes we make a choice and it may upset someone else. Can that be an opportunity to see if you share the same values? Or can it be a chance to work through the difference of opinion? So many in this world are left with no choices because of the cruelty of others, poverty, or other external strife. Sometimes that conflict stems from within. In those moments compassion for ourselves or others may be the only kind choice to make.
Whatever hard or easy choices you face, may you be easy on yourself, understanding that at the very least you’ll learn something useful that will help you with future choices.
Self-Care Tips:
· Donate to an underfunded class or school. Now is the time they need school supplies. If you can donate in your city, town or community that would be great. If not, here is one link:
https://www.adoptaclassroom.org
· When you are confronted with a choice, whether easy or hard, allow yourself the courage to make the choice, being open to learning from the process of choosing and the ensuing results.
· An exercise in making conscious choices: switch up a routine. If you brush your teeth front to back, or top then bottom, do it the other way to see how it feels. Or if you’re a sock, sock, shoe, shoe person. Try sock, shoe, or start with your left foot rather than the right. You might feel differently, but your habits become moments of awareness.
